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Sex: Chicken or Egg?
by Richard Lee Orey
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Deciding what comes first.
Recently, I’ve been exchanging thoughts about how to live a satisfying single life with a divorced young mother
who lives with high personal standards but who is feeling “naughty and somewhat slutty” in that she’s being
tempted, as she says, “to share myself with a man. Not a punk on the street corner, but a real man.”
Our conclusion is that it’s not primarily a sexual relationship she misses; it’s an affectionate, loving
relationship that expresses itself by sharing sex.
For those of you who are facing this challenge personally—or who are responsible for maturing children facing
this challenge for the first time—perhaps you’ll find these two short sentences easy to remember and helpful
in considering what comes first.
A quality relationship doesn’t flow from sex.
Sex flows from a quality relationship.
Richard Lee Orey
Copyright 2009
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