Face it, for some of us folks, there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, nor even a beautiful rainbow following a terrible storm. So where do these people turn when trying to weather the ups and downs of life?
Key #1. Take a personal ‘moral inventory’. Perhaps the best place is found within ourselves. We all have an inner strength far stronger and more capable than we are taught to believe. This inner strength, no matter how deeply buried, will surface when we are able to be honest with ourselves. Strength comes from honesty and honesty from courage. We must find the courage to look in the mirror and take a painfully honest inventory of all the events that have shaped our lives. It is through this “fearless moral inventory” that we can assume the responsibility for change—no matter how bad life has been—and move beyond the role of victim to creator of our own new destiny.
Key #2. Get rid of the need to blame. For many the past is full of blame, either on ourselves or someone else. But blame fuels the misery of the victim. Blame keeps us from finding the power within ourselves to create change. As a child who grew up in a world filled with abuse I recognize how difficult it is to let go of blame and find the courage to redefine life. However through my own inner strength I have learned it is possible.
Key #3. Look at difficulties with honesty. I have a few ideas to share about living strong in the present by putting the past in an inner safe place where it can wait to be processed honestly as you feel ready to face it. Look at it head on. Don’t pretend the events and the pain from the past don’t exist. Grieve, be angry, have a good cry—accepting these honest emotions is the first step toward building our own inner strength.
Key #4. Nurture yourself. Have a hot bath, indulge a chocolate craving—then take a long look in the mirror and search for your hidden true self. You will find you not only have the strength, honesty and courage to love and accept yourself, but also the ability to make a difference to someone else. That self has the power to change the world.
I have discovered fulfillment in my life as I find the courage to accept my past, share my struggles with others working to live in the present, and teach the belief that we all have the power to redefine our destinies. I know from living through many storms how difficult this is to do. There have been many times I have wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball with my pillow and cry endlessly. And even when I force myself up and brave the world, it takes only one kind, simple gesture—one moment where I feel someone cares—and the tears spill out and I feel venerable and scared. I know that these painful times are necessary to grieve my past honestly. I also know that there is goodness in the present and as I am willing to feel it, share it and live it then I can change it. The difficulties we face are part of who we are. They influence our growing personalities and the ways in which we interact with our worlds. Embrace all of yourself, cherish the parts of yourself you like, and know that you are your own pot of gold at the end of every rainbow.
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