"They've got a WHAT in the store?!"

I used to work in a grocery store as a deli clerk. The store was trying to become competitive with the other grocery store chains, so the managers decided to build a bakery in the store. They arranged to have the baker from a local store come in and teach some of the deli clerks how to run the new bakery. While the bakery was being set up, it was the job of the deli clerks to get on the in-store microphone and recite some commercials for the brand new bakery. We were all supposed to mention that the bakery would be featuring an on-site "master baker," who would be working behind a glass partition so that the customers could see the breads and rolls being made.

I was very busy that day, running from one end of the deli to the other to fetch cheese, ham, potato salad, and liverwurst. I was dimly aware of some of my co-workers getting on the microphone to advertise the deli specials, but so far, no one had mentioned the bakery. The Deli manager came in and got mad because no one had done the ads for the bakery, so she decided to do it herself. It was then that I realized the reason that everyone had avoided reading the bakery ad, because I heard the tail-end of the thing that the deli manager was reading--

"...so come on down and see our Master Baker!" Screams of laughter were going up from all over the store, and from some of the people in the deli, too! Carriages were screeching to a halt all over the store as customers asked each other, "Did she just say what I THOUGHT she said?" I almost sliced my finger on the cutting machine as I thought about how hilarious it was that they had this poor guy working in a glass booth! Sure enough, customers started trickling over to the bakery to see this "Master Baker!" I don't know what they thought they were going to see, but most of them looked a little disappointed!

The deli manager was advised to leave a two-second pause between "Master" and "Baker" the next time she read the ad over the microphone, but it still drew scattered snorts of laughter from customers who hadn't heard it before. It did seem to attract people to the bakery by appealing to their curiosity-- "They've got a WHAT in the bakery? Let's go see that!" The bakery was a success, and the "Master Baker" was allowed to leave the glass booth and finally get some privacy.

A few months later I left the deli for another job, but that afternoon really stands out when I remember my days working there. I recently told this story to a British friend, and he had me in convulsions by telling me that in England, "Master Bakers get certificates for that! They take courses for it and--" but he had to stop, because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Maybe that's why we don't have many emigrees from England... who'd want to leave a place like that?