|
No world peace, but life would be less annoying
If I ruled the world, here are a few changes I would make.
A 'NO COMPLICATIONS' LINE FOR PAYING RENT: I can't tell you how many times I have gone to pay my rent, only to get stuck behind someone with a horrendously complicated personal life and a matching sob story as to why they can't pay their rent. I am standing there with a check in my hand, wasting my whole afternoon while the idiot in front of me has the full attention of everyone in the office. Dictator Dar decrees that a "Rent With No Complications" line be created at every housing authority branch in America.
NO HUNGRY KIDS IN GROCERY STORES: Hungry kids like to scream. Screaming aggravates customers. Dictator Dar decrees that all parents feed children before dragging them through the store, or at least give them snacks that will glue their teeth together until they get into the parking lot.
NO SOLICITING IN FRONT OF STORES: Hey, we're blowing enough money in the stores, we don't need to be hit up for additional 'donations' when we leave. Dictator Dar decrees that beggars find a different venue.
NO FALSE ADVERTISING OF TV SHOWS: You sit down to watch a 60-minute tv show... how much actual show will you see? Approximately 47 minutes. Dictator Dar decrees that all tv shows list the actual program length MINUS commercials. This way, viewers can see who is overdoing the 'important messages.'
NO UNCHAPERONED CHILDREN SELLING THINGS DOOR-TO-DOOR: I find it deplorable that Dictator Dar even has to make a decree about this! It infuriates me to see little kids wandering the neighborhood knocking on strangers' doors. Under my rule, not only would this be illegal, but DSS would tail the children home.
*****
Dictator Dar welcomes feedback about these proposed changes. However, due to the volume of email I will probably receive from perpetrators of the behaviors mentioned, Dictator Dar regrets that she will immediately delete all correspondence. (No, I won't regret it-- I'll enjoy it! Why? Because I'm a dictator, that's why!)
|
