A Mystic's Journal Entry January 30, 2005 by Laurie Conrad, author of "The Spiritual Life of Animals and Plants", a collection of true stories. Her new books "Realms of Light" and "Meetings with Angels and Other Divine Beings" are scheduled to be published in 2005.

Sunday, January 30


3 a.m. Many miracles again, in these past weeks; e-mails from all over the world. Cancer cures, other miracles too numerous to mention. Some of these healing requests came through the Distant Healing Network, others privately. Last week I was not allowed to ask for Healing for two people; one must always trust the Divine Will in these matters. God & the soul know far better than I who should be healed. In these instances, however, I am almost always allowed to send angels & some relief for the pain & suffering. There seems to be an endless supply of miracles, because God is Infinite.

One of my favorite stories was several years ago. A woman wrote me to report that her son - he had just been in a terrible car accident, & was still in the hospital with many broken bones & internal damage when she wrote to me - was now working on his car, kneeling on the knees that supposedly had been broken in the accident. This was only a few days or so after she requested healing for him, & the doctors had since taken the casts off ...

Sometimes I wonder whether if it is my Faith or their Faith - or a combination of the two - that brings these miraculous cures. Or is it our humility before God, or my natural compassion - combined with His Divine Pleasure at our trust in Him and His Divine Mercy. Of course, I do not know the answer.

For me, it sometimes feels more like simple trust than Faith. I do not have the Faith that I could move mountains from here to there, as Christ instructed His disciples. But I do know & trust that God could move that mountain in an instant if He wished. Perhaps they are the same thing, but from where I stand in myself there is a vast difference between them. I know that I am Nothing - & I do not mean this in the ordinary, neurotic, self-depreciating way. (This is perhaps a later discussion.)

No, when I ask for Healing for a fellow creature, human or animal or plant, I ask God to do it, if it is His Most Holy Will. Then I thank Him & go about my day & usual chores & work. There are no second thoughts. Only Gratitude, an abiding Gratitude that follows me everywhere. Gratitude that I am even allowed to ask for such Favors, & that He will consider the request. This Gratitude is deep & lasting & as genuine as if the request had been instantly granted - which most often it is. It joins a larger inner pool of thankfulness from the past, until it spills out from my Heart, into the world.

Another favorite Healing story of mine is about a fellow - I forget what country he was in - who wrote me a frantic e-mail about his friend. The doctors said he would not make it through the night. I asked that God would heal his friend & wrote him back, asking that he keep in touch with me. I heard nothing for a few weeks & then received another frantic e-mail message: "Please cure my friend again. Last time he was completely well by the next morning and the doctors called it a miracle. Now he is back in the hospital and dying again. Please make another miracle!" I asked that God heal his friend & wrote: "Why didn’t you tell me that your friend was completely healed, & thank God for the healing last time? I will ask for Healing again, but this time, if he is healed, you must tell me." The next day a message: "You did it AGAIN! THANK YOU". This was a few years ago, & I have heard nothing since, so assume that his friend is fine. For if those who are healed cannot or forget to thank God, then I must, or they could lose the Healing.

Sometimes, when I ask for healing, it only takes a few seconds. Sometimes, I clairvoyantly know that I am not allowed to ask. Othertimes, I must ask many times, even over a period of months or longer. Sometimes, as I ask, I inwardly see who I am healing, & they appear entirely as Light - it is as though I am seeing their soul. In these cases, there is always a full & immediate cure. Sometimes I see Christ in my Heart, doing the Healing ...

In these times, when I am asking for Healing for others, I feel myself filled and surrounded by a Divine Presence, what I call God. And as I often repeat, in my little book "The Spiritual Life of Animals and Plants" - I believe that we all are Healers.

Now, I put all these thoughts aside, & all the thoughts of the day & those left over from all my life on earth as I prepare to meditate.

(What I am calling "meditation" is what St. Teresa of Avila called "mental prayer." We all must be carefully taught how to do this sort of prayer. It is a very powerful practice, & not to be fooled with - it can be dangerous to the untaught. St. Teresa of Avila said that, in her opinion, there was no other way to achieve mystical union with God. I, for one, certainly agree with her.)

My prayer tonight is for the world. I ask that the Eternal Father send His Holy Spirit among us. I ask that the Holy Spirit, the Third Person of the Holy Trinity, enlighten and heal us; that He fill and surround all the creatures on this globe that we call earth, with His Divinity, Love and Healing Presence. I briefly image this - the Divine Light descending from above the earth, illumining and healing all. Tonight, as I begin my meditation, I inwardly and gently repeat the words "Holy Spirit, renew the face of the earth". As I inwardly say these words, I feel my own Compassion & Love for all beings growing & filling my own small heart. Once the small heart is open, the spiritual Heart becomes filled with Light - for now I myself am being given the Healing & Love that I have asked for all other creatures. And this Divine Love & Light now streams from my Heart into the universe, radiating towards all creatures in all realms. This is how I perceive it.

This prayer to the Holy Spirit has begun my meditation, & I feel a Divine Presence in the room as I write these words in my notebook. Now I will close this little notebook, close my eyes & begin my simple practice - this deep & silent prayer that allows me to step into another world, leaving my usual eyes & my usual self behind. In that inner space I meet my own soul, & all else seems at first infinitely distant & then non-existent - until I am left with only the Soul & God.

May all who read these journal entries be Blessed & Healed & given angels on their Journey.