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Alexandra Kathi

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Member Since: Jan, 2007

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   Recent articles by
Alexandra Kathi

Life as we dont know it
The Devil cant hide his tail
           >> View all

I have a right to Happiness
by Alexandra Kathi   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Sunday, May 16, 2010
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2007

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Man has become more and more selfish as days go by, all on the basis that he/she has a right to happiness at all cost. In their arrogance they do not realise that they pay the cost for that happiness later.

I have a right to happiness… We are all so focused on things we think will bring us happiness we have totally lost it if you ask me. I recently read somewhere that this generation is the way it is because we associate happiness with activities, events, acquisitions and so are constantly chasing after these events that will create that feeling of happiness. The most pitiful thing about this statement, aside from the fact that it actually is true , is the areas of our lives where it is clearly manifesting. The major one being relationships with others. There is a statement I keep hearing that always amazes me, “I want someone to make me happy”. Someone please justify this for me, since when is it someone else’s responsibility to bring happiness in your life. I recently had a conversation with a close friend about what kind of person he would like for a life partner and he tells me he wants a woman who will notice he is not happy and makes him happy. Am sorry you all but to me this sounds somewhat off. It is my belief, qualified or not I don’t really care that no one is going to come into my life and make me happy. If I can’t find it in myself to be happy my environment is not created to facilitate that. Indulge me if you please, in a little rationalisation. You see when two individual meet, in whatever kind of relationship; simple friendship, dating relationship, business partnership, pretty much anything that would cause two different entities to interact closely over a period of time, they don’t start their lives at that specific moment, or two seconds before they met you. They have been living they bring with them all the experiences to that point that would be termed as their life. These experiences are what forms their belief system, their value system, their character; which you will hate or admire. Let’s now look closely at the statement that is being uttered around with a lot of ignorance, “am looking for someone to make me happy”. So you get this person that you think will make you happy; am assuming you a picking them based on characters you admire in them. This young lady or young man is everything you admire or wish you could be and that is who you want as either your husband or your wife. Now here is the problem as I see it. You meet this young lady who is very independent, confident, super achiever, very responsible and yea, who said brains cant go with beauty, well this one broke the mould, just what you always imagined your ideal girlfriend to be, or stretch it a little more, the mother of your children to be. As you start to interact with her you heap all your expectations on her, because she is what you know you need to be happy. She will change your life. On her end the young lady might be all this because she had to. Her background, her experiences growing up forced her to the super achiever, independent, responsible person she is. And like you she has expectations about who she wants in her life. She might be waiting for someone else to take over the responsibility, or if not to just share some of it with her. Her reason of course being ‘she will be happier if someone else handles everything for once she will be free to live’. If you haven’t gotten it yet, the point is that you will have serious conflict from day one. Your expectations of each other instead of creating the happiness you crave will create tension. The reason we have fallen into habits of serial dating is the quest for happiness, this huge event we are all waiting for to make us happy never seems to come. And so since we didn’t find it with the current boyfriend or girlfriend we leave that one and find another one. Unfortunately we only move with our expectations and negative emotions, never seeming to walk away with anything positive from past experiences. So when I meet the next person, not only do I have unrealistic expectations, I also have prescribed solutions to things I know they will do to me. And we wonder how a society that is so focused on making themselves happy ends up with so much hurt? The divorce rate around the world is startling, in countries such as Sweden, there are three times more divorces than marriages. What does that tell you; on average 50% of the population has been married at least twice and divorced. Another sad reality about the way that we exercise our right to happiness is the way morality is now defined by how an action makes me feel instead or being based on what is right or wrong according to nature. Social order has been disregarded totally. Looking at our planet human being, the creature that believes that they have a right to happiness at whatever cost is the most disorganised. And I am saying it because in our search for happiness we have lost our sense of order. In the animal kingdom, outside of man ofcourse, hunters only kill what they need to feed, for survival. Man kills for pleasure. Human being are the only creatures that in trying to acquire better life will destroy there environment. I want more land to grow crops for sale to increase my income, so I destroy the forest next to me. That same forest was previously a catchment area, so that you have water to irrigate your produce. The forest was both home and food to wild animals. Then when these animals come into my land to look for food I kill them to protect myself. Eastern Europe; the divorce rate is not as high as Western Europe though higher than marriage rate, but the abortions are double the births. Why because all over sudden we see babies as a hindrance to our happiness. In Africa we are hacking each other to death because we believe we are the only ones who should have access to certain resources, the result of which has been some outsider coming in the pretence of unifying us and taking control of those same resources we were fighting for and in the end we are poor and definitely not happy. Asia, the giants awakening, but awakening to what, people who day by day are turning themselves into monsters in the name of adopting modernity. In India they are slowly discovering obesity isn’t a white man’s phenomena you adopt the, me only attitude and it shows in the way you live and how you look. In Japan we are so busy trying to make money, working 17 hour days, where schools & companies offer you all manner of conveniences e.g. all meals at the office or school so that you can churn out gadgets that someone in America thinks will make them happier, slowly destroying the core of society. Family time doesn’t exist unless you call sleeping under the same roof being a family. Where else have you heard of people making money from teaching others to let loose and just laugh! Yea that’s Japan.. Truly money doesn’t buy happiness. Our quest to happiness has destroyed the social order and if we are not careful, we will end up destroying ourselves. It has created a whole generation of short sighted individuals, who cannot see beyond their wants. Yes they all have a right to happiness but they aren’t happy at all. Maybe its time for this generation that thinks and acts like everything was created around them to sit and consider there is an order higher than they are. An existence higher than themselves that they can’t control, that requires them to simplify there lives. To slow down just long enough to show respect to the other occupants of our planet, and in return they will get respect. The harmonious society thus created would result in a happier people. To slow down enough to think about the consequences of our actions, long enough to think about not just the few moments or hours after we act but the effect the actions have on the bigger picture. It might not reverse the suffering that already started but it might reduce the pain for the next generations. We have a right to happiness, but who said the only way to receive what is rightfully yours is by taking or destroying someone else’s.  


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Reviewed by kenneth ringera 5/23/2007
I think phylis is spot on and has captured the theme of happiness quite well. i would like to see how she sees the opposite looking for sadness, it might interesting to see how she captures the human natures want for sadness in various arena's.



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