This was written by my beautiful son, Jonathan, who has struggled with this demon for so long and has found the strength to fight. I think it's very powerful...
I AM YOUR ADDICTION
By Jonathan S. French
I hate meetings. I hate your higher powers. I hate anyone who has a “program”. To all who come into contact with me, I wish you suffering and I wish you death.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction. I am cunning, baffling, and powerful. I have killed millions and I am pleased.
I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, wasn’t I there when you called me?
I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. Isn’t it true glory when you can’t hurt at all?
I will give you instant gratification, and all that I ask from you is long-term suffering. I have always been there for you. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these things, and I was the only one who agreed with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.
People don’t take me seriously. They take strokes, heart attacks, and diabetes seriously. Fools, little they know that without my help, some of these things would not take place.
I am such a hated disease, yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many people have chosen me over reality and peace of mind.
More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12-step program. Your programs, your higher powers and your meetings weaken me, and I can’t function in the manner I am used to.
Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me, but I am growing LARGER than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I may only exist. But I am here…waiting and growing, ready to strike the moment you pick up…and until we meet again. I wish you suffering and death whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. It’ all death, no matter what you call me. I am your worst enemy! I am your addiction.