Something just happened to me tonight that's a scene right out of a B comedy movie. I went into the half-bathroom to check out the commode. It has been acting up lately and the tank doesn't fill half the time. But, I figured out that if you jiggle the plastic bulb in back, then it starts to fill. It's usually fine for a few days after that.

Now, the smart thing to do would be to replace the piece in the tank so that it's permanently fixed, right? Not me. Every time it starts working after I jiggle it, I think to myself, "I bet this time it'll stay fixed." I have been saying this for a couple of months.

Well, tonight I reached in a did my jiggling because the tank didn't fill. Only instead of doing what it was supposed to do, the thingamajig in the tank broke and water gushed straight up like Old Faithful. I immediately stuck my thumb over the stream, which stopped the water. I stood there, soaking wet, looking at the steaks of water running down the walls.

I reached down with my free hand to turn off the water to the commode, but my reach wasn't long enough because of the position I was standing in. My thumb slipped off and water started shooting up to the ceiling again. By now, a small pond was forming on the floor.

Out of instinct, I placed the same thumb over the stream. Had I used my other hand, I could have reached the valve to shut the water off. I took a few breaths to take stock of my situation, and the water pressure on my thumb started burning. I shifted my thumb slightly to relieve the burning, but the dam broke and my thumb managed to direct the stream right in my face.

I called for Emily, my wife, to come down. She heard the screaming and later told me she thought I had cut off my toe or something by the way I was screaming for her. By the time she found me, I had switched thumbs and could finally reach the valve. She walked into the bathroom to see me drenched, water dripping from the ceiling and the walls, and a puddle covering the floor.

My wife started laughing and told me where the towels were. With that, she went back upstairs to leave me with the clean-up.

I am heading to the hardware store tomorrow to replace the thingamajig.