We all begin life traveling on the “road to happiness.” At some point during this journey we may come to realize we turned left when we meant to turn right; which sidetracks us and puts us on plan “D” instead of plan “A”. Life’s not exactly “unhappy” - it’s just not as fulfilling as we know it can be. We begin to feel as if life became” sabotaged” somewhere along the way. Now it’s time to regain control and get back on track. You just need to readjust the road map!
That said, you are at “choice point.” Maybe your choice is to continue what you’re doing. OK. Just don’t expect different results. Maybe your choice is to do something different to get different results. Once we set a direction in life, all our habits, behaviors, and choices either support or sabotage us in reaching that destination.
Let’s take a look at some choices that may be sabotaging your life and solutions that will support getting you back on track.
#1 – Sabotage - Hit the floor running and don’t stop ‘til you drop. Fill your schedule to overflowing so that even taking a moment to catch your breath leaves you hyperventilating!
Solution – Follow the airplane rule, “put your oxygen mask on first.” Before you wake each morning, give yourself a moment to be still with yourself. Consciously take a few deep breaths. Visualize your day flowing smoothly and easily as you continue to consciously breathe. On today’s calendar, block out 15 minutes and write your name in “pen.” Set your cell phone alarm. When the time arrives, use it to sit and do nothing but consciously breathe. Doing this ensures that you put on your oxygen mask first.
#2 – Sabotage - Hang out with toxic people who criticize, judge and carry around all their emotional baggage. For added effect and drama, make sure you unpack these people often.
Solution – Find the “balcony people” of your life. The people who always have “the best seats in the house”- those who make sure to see things “from the top.” There is at least one person who sees the best in you. Make contact with them frequently. Let them cheer you on, inspire, motivate and support you. Begin to create your “team” of balcony people- your own cheering section! (Keep in mind these people are different from the “nosebleed section people.” – those who can’t see anything beyond the tips of their own noses and are committed to sabotaging anyone who attempts to get better seats than them.)
#3 Sabotage – Procrastinate! – Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow!? Let’s face it, if you let something go long enough, it may just disappear altogether and you’ll be “off the hook,” right?
Solution – Procrastination is a symptom of a deeper issue and instead of being “let off the hook,” you’re often left “hanging” your head in guilt. Why would you need to feel guilty? You don’t, but you probably have a fear of succeeding and guilt guards you from this fear. (And those guards have some pretty hefty armor, don’t they!?) Instead of lugging around all that heavy guilt, break free, connect with your “balcony people” and let them cheer you on to victory each and every time you follow through! Count all these victories and as they add up, let them empower you to take the next step to success.
#4 Sabotage - Hold onto the “right” attitude and make sure you’re never wrong. It will keep you feeling like you’re in control.
Solution - It takes so much energy to be right all the time. Plus you really miss out on other ideas that can enhance your life. Learn to apologize. Learn to forgive. Learn to receive. Learn how to listen. (I could be wrong, but my guess is that there will be many treasures waiting for you when you give yourself permission to not always be right!)
#5 Sabotage - Fill your life with clutter, stuff and mountains of paperwork. Keep all the drawers empty and the tabletops full!
Solution - Clutter creates confusion. Confusion clogs your life’s energy flow, your ability to think clearly and to be creative. Clear your space. Begin small. Sometimes it helps to set an alarm for 15 minutes and begin. Take in small bites. As you clear the clutter, even a small corner, allow yourself to feel good. Exhale. Let that good feeling motivate you for another 15 minutes. You’ll be amazed at how quickly de-cluttering clears the mind.
#6 Sabotage - Ignore self-care. After all, your mind and body are only the mechanics that keep your life running. You put gas in your car and send it for six month tune-ups; why is extending the mileage on a heap of metal and glass more important than extending the mileage on your life’s journey?
Solution - Taking care of the “self” is a number 1 priority. It is important to remember all areas of self: mind, body and spirit. To begin, make one change in one area. For the body: eat a piece of fruit every day, drink a glass of water, and say one nice thing about yourself when you look in the mirror. For the mind: have an intellectually stimulating conversation with someone; read a book; watch a group of children discovering the world at a playground during your lunch break. For the spirit: sit quietly every day, subscribe to a daily inspiration, and share your gratitude daily. You’ll be amazed at how much more mileage you get with just a little self care.
#7 Sabotage - Expect perfection or “black and white” solutions for everything. – If it’s perfect, there’s no room for option or choice, which means you don’t have to deal with it!
Solution - There is no such thing as “perfect.” Perfect is a relative term. Striving to be perfect fits into the category of needing to be right. Redefine your standards. Consider the option of making gray the “new black” when it comes to savvy thinking!
In reality, each of us practice all 7 of these sabotaging behaviors, so you’re not alone. But you’re also not necessarily in the best of company, either. These alternate ways of thinking and problem solving solutions allow you to begin to make a shift in the way you live your life, make the right turn and get back on track. Choose one solution and begin to put it into practice. You can make a change to empower yourself; and you can ask for help in creating a new pattern. Be inspired this week to stop sabotaging your life and get back on the road to happiness.
Download these e-books for free:
“9 Steps To A Happier Healthier You”
“7 Easy Ways To Change Your Life Forever”