|
By Vickie L. Evans
"And i'll be alright
And i'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll overcome my fear
Is not the end of me
My heart is still open now
I'm bruised but not broken"
"Bruise But Not Broken" by Joss Stone.
Those of us who has experienced the pain of divorce fully knows how it feels to be "bruised". The pain and stress is so intense that there are some moments you want to do as Lenny Williams said "crawl up in a big ole ball and die." Even your body begin to go through changes.
Susan L. Taylor, the Editorial Director of Essence magazine describes it best in her memoir In The Spirit when she describes what appeared to be the symptoms of a heart attack that sent her to the emergency room while going through her divorce, which she describes as "a day of transformation"! Yes, everything changes - your family life, your environment, your finances, and your friends. At some point you feel that you are not going to survive and you expel any thoughts of ever loving again. I said, there is no way, "after two failed marriages" that I would possibly allow myself to experience this type of pain again. I isolated myself from situations that would lend itself to establishing a relationship, which included dating.
Then one day during my devotion time, I read 1 Corinthians 13:7 (Amplified Bible), which says "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]." Then, I realize that I had been cheating myself because I AM a loving, thoughtful, strong and giving person, even though my past husbands failed to appreciate the love. I am not going to allow rejection to rob me of the very reason I was created - to be a "woman" - a helper to my man - his missing rib! Somewhere, my "true love" is preparing for me and I am preparing for him. It is just a matter of time-meeting-destiny!
I have learned so much in the last few years! The things that I took for granted in a relationship in the past, now have added value to me. I may have been bruised, but I certainly am NOT broken. What was intended to destroy me has actually empowered me to be the best that I can be. A minister said a few days ago, "if you be your best, God will send His Best"! Therefore, I know "my best is yet to come"! I can now testify with Joss Stone this "Is not the end of me! My heart is still open now, I'm bruised but not broken"
|
