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Suzanne Hartmann

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Top 10 Mistakes New Fiction Writers Make - Part 1
by Suzanne Hartmann   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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Suzanne Hartmann

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• Top 10 Mistakes New Fiction Writers Make - Part 6
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Passive Voice: Part 1 of a 10-part series on common mistakes new authors make

Passive Voice
Definition = when the subject receives the action. The passive voice is usually expressed in two ways: 1) the subject is not mentioned, or 2) the subject and object are reversed.

Examples:
1) The life jacket was thrown into the water.
The subject is not mentioned. We don't know who threw the life jacket.
2) The life jacket was thrown into the water by the captain.
The captain is the subject—the person who threw the life jacket—but the order of the sentence has been reversed to put the object (the life jacket) before the subject.

Correction = Add the subject and make the verb active.
The captain threw the life jacket into the water.

Another way writing becomes passive is when a form of "to be" links the subject with a description in the predicate.

Example: The kingdoms were at war.
"At war" tells us something about the kingdoms.

Correction = Use a strong, active verb
The kingdoms warred with each other.
The kingdoms engaged in war.

Why we should avoid the passive voice = active verbs are stronger and descriptive, which makes the writing more interesting and personal. Passive voice also creates a distance between the writing and the reader, whereas active voice draws the reader in and makes him or her feel like they're in the middle of the story.

 


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