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Shawn Ness

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Member Since: Aug, 2009

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Featured Book
The Lion Trees, Part II: Awakening
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The debut novel by Owen Thomas, The Lion Trees, chronicles the humorous and dramatic unraveling of an American family. The two-volume novel has been enthusiastically rece..  
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Five Days of Darkness
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This fast-paced paranormal thriller shows how an ordinary family seeking spiritual freedom in a world where it is considered terrorism, must overcome the obstacles of out..  
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   Recent articles by
Shawn Ness

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I forgot why I was writing this article
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           >> View all

2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
By Shawn Ness   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Friday, June 04, 2010
Posted: Friday, June 04, 2010

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Not sure why but I entered this year, below are the fruits of my labor.

Just for a little fun here are my two submissions (since there are no rules on having the submissions reprinted elsewhere):

Vial Puns:

Mal stormed into his boss’s office, irritated he had to work on the weekend again. Especially since he had spent weeks planning the Tent family reunion which was going to be on Saturday. The secretary paged the head honcho; Sir there is a Malcolm Tent here to see you. 
 
Detective:
She meandered into my dwelling, with her strawberry blonde hair in her hand she was carrying the remainder of her husband’s remains which remained after he had been slaughtered by the remaining members of the Deago family, I knew the Deago’s were bad news and I should have run but she was hotter than a vulcanized swing set seat in July, so I decided to remain.

 

 

 

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Man's Unofficial Guide to the Use of His Garage by Thomas Neviaser

This book is a humorous and informative guide to arranging a garage so as to transform it into a “Man's Castle”...  
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Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age by Beverly Mahone

Whatever! is an inspirational and humorous look at growing older through the eyes of a self-proclaimed diva and baby boomer. Topics include weight gain and menopause, middle age d..  
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