Why God has all this hurt been put upon me is a question I have come to ask numerous times throughout my difficult life.
Furthermore, why anything good never seems to remain.
On the other hand, is it to much to ask for laughter instead of tears of sorrow and true friends that will be there instead of disappearing.
What about ever finding true love also?
I had many visions of the way I assumed life was suppose to be and wow had I been wrong about everything and come to find that life is not picture perfect as I wanted it to be and dreamed .
Since my world crumbled constantly around me and why God, as I had followed all the golden rules .
Therefore, could I have been being punished for something I thought every time friends or family stabbed me in the back .
In addition every time I thought I finally found my hero to save the day, as they only wrecked the days .
Furthermore, many at that, as I endured beating after next and looked daily in the mirror at bruises and swollen eyes, as tears flowed, I mumbled why God?
Or after finding the strength and courage to walk away from two abusive relationships in hopes that one day just maybe the hero would come my way .
Then soon finding out how wrong I was again and that nothing good can stay, as the third time was not the charm but in all honesty the worse abuse .
I ever encountered and became three strikes I was certainly done with a hero that never would exist.
Therefore, I simply had given up on believing that I’d find happiness or get to experience just a portion.
At this point I sure discovered that there truly are many wolves among us wearing sheep’s clothing! Why God did it come to be as this.
When it use to be love thy neighbor now you have to watch out for the neighbors?
Suddenly it would finally dawn on me and I sure realized just what my happiness was and where it had been all along.
Staring me right in the face daily and it was the most genuine and endless love of all.
Furthermore such a pure and endearing love that would last a lifetime and had been there throughout all the pain and anguish trying to ease my hurt .
Nevertheless , many sacrifices they had made along the toughest of times, as I overheard my oldest son telling a friend on the phone , “Sorry sounds like a neat movie, but I have to work all weekend to make sure my little brother has a super birthday party!”
While my daughter stopped in with a box of food and smiled saying, “Here figured you could use the extra bread, eggs and milk”.
One certain incident sticks fondly in my memory, I had just been knocked off the chair and laid on the kitchen floor, as my knee had a deep gash.
Instantly little hands placed a washrag, dripping with water against my bloody knee, as I looked up in tears onto a five year old that smiled brightly saying, “It will heal”
At that moment knew, I was truly blessed in all honesty and always had the greatest dream in this life to come true .
For I was a mother who actually did not need to hope on the hero arriving one day or a best friend, as I was lucky in fact and already had four amazing heroes and the best of friends every step of the way.
Herbie, Fallon, Noah and Nolan
Soon adding the littlest hero of them all and sweetest friend that certainly brought so much sunshine and filled my broken heart with much joy my grandchild Lex.
From this moment on it became Thank You God!
