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richard buzzell

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Grumpy Old Man Don't Play That
by richard buzzell   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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A humorous look at a common media schtick.

I was watching a panel discussion on T.V. about the issue of inflated gas prices and I couldn’t help being amused by one of the panelists who was playing the Grumpy Old Man act. It went something like this: I’m Grumpy Old Man and I’ve seen it all. Every time gas prices go up, you young punks want to have some kind of government inquiry. It’s just damn foolish. I’ve seen this so many times before that I’m the expert now and everyone needs to listen to me. We have a market system in this country where prices are set by supply and demand, and there’s nothing you can do to improve on it. If you do try to do something, bad things will happen like they did back in the ‘70’s or ‘80’s or some other time that I don’t want to get too specific about. The problem with you damn kids is you just don’t want to listen, and so you come up with all sorts of crazy ideas that just don’t work in the real world. I know about the real world because I’ve been around forever and I’ve learned that nothing can be changed. Everything has to stay just the way it is. And don’t start asking me why wild commodity price volatility has coincided with regulatory changes made during the last couple decades, because Grumpy Old Man don’t play that. Grumpy Old Man’s cynicism makes him an authority on everything and means he doesn’t have to justify his opinions to anyone. Questioning Grumpy Old Man just shows how naive and immature you are. Bow down to my wisdom! I’m Grumpy Old Man, master of the universe!

The surprising thing about Grumpy Old Man act is how effective it is in flattering other grumpy old men into thinking they know something just because they’re negative about any attempts at improving anything. The hilarious thing about Grumpy Old Man act is the way that younger people will latch on to it in an attempt to upgrade their cynicism and despair to the status of “hard-nosed realism.”

Grumpy Old Man act – another tired schtick trolling for suckers on a T.V. screen near you.

 


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