2. I just got a whole box of my mothers clothes that she doesn’t want anymore! Isn’t it great that we’re the same size?!

3. I have gained SO much weight! Do I look fat to you?

4. You look like there’s something on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?

5. I’m bored, but I don’t want to have sex either.

6. If I died, would you get married again?

7. I’m going to my mother’s for the weekend. Can you watch the kids?

8. Oh honey! You have GOT to watch this Lifetime movie with me!

9. I found a fantastic recipe online that I’m making for dinner. I just need to replace some of the ingredients with stuff we have here.

10. Only brainless idiots watch sports!

11. I want to redecorate the house.

12. Could you take a look at a sore spot I have “down there”?

13. Give me the TV remote.

14. When was the last time you changed your underwear??

15. I compliment you all the time! Why don’t you ever compliment me?

16. We need a bigger house.

17. Why can’t you ever just once understand where I am coming from?

18. Look out! Deadly gas heading your way!

19. You can’t be friends with him because I HATE his wife!

20. Did you buy that Life Insurance policy yet?