"Some tension is good for the soul to grow, and we can put that intention to good use. We can look for every opportunity to give and receive love, to appreciate nature, to heal our wounds and the wounds of others, to forgive and to serve." Joan Borysenko, from Handbook for the Soul

I keep coming back to fear because more mothers-in-law (MIL) and daughters-in-law (DIL) ask questions that are basically loaded with their fears. They do not specifically say I fear this or that but it blazes through their questions. DIL's fear losing control, measuring up, and losing their husbands love or worry about being number one. MIL's fear losing their son and grandchildren, and losing their sons' confidence in them because of feeling undermined with truth stretching.

I think that love, jealousy and power are the culprits. We don't have to be a MIL or a DIL to want these things. We are too wrapped up in power and control. Once we understand how little control we have over anything in our lives the calmer and happier we become. Just because someone has the power doesn't mean they have neither the best answers nor the respect. We don't seem able to learn that power is within and when one has it we have no need to flaunt it or use it to rise above anyone else.

Real power lifts another above oneself. Real power is without jealous tendencies and comes to someone's aid not because they are a friend or family but because they are another human being in need of help. Power is the ability to love all others and to see our connections to others. If we treated everyone like family, there would be abundant support for everyone. No one would be hungry, hurt or in emotional pain. If we can cross the line, we won't be drawing any lines that prevent others from crossing.

Most of us live in small worlds. Until we see the world differently we will continue to have issues with each other. There is enough love to go around for everyone to share. We don't need to consume it all ourselves. We don't have all the answers nor are we always correct in our thinking. It takes less energy to simply get along and strive for peace than it does to declare war and fight for control. If there isn't really any control then what did we fight with our DIL or MIL about? Fighting within the home releases negativity which causes us to fight among neighbors, states, and countries.

The answer might be simple. Let go of power and control urges, jealousy and fear passions, and worries and frets. Your whole being will be lighter, you'll smile more, you'll observe, hear, see, and feel more. You will carry so much less baggage and your conscience will be clear. I know which option I will choose.

"Do a little more than you're paid to. Give a little more than you have to. Try a little harder than you want to. Aim a little higher than you think possible, and give a lot of thanks to God for health, family and friends." Art Linkletter