How many of us always try to do what we think is right instead of reacting to the actions of others? Do we follow our own conscience no matter how unpopular our ideas and actions are? Or do we let the ideas and actions of others determine how we will act?

Do we accept responsibility for our actions, or do we try to blame others for what we do?

Unfortunately, many of us do more reacting than acting.  We are often guilty of defending our actions with statements like these: "She made me mad.  That's why I did it;"  "After what he did to me, he deserved exactly what he got;" and "I was only getting even."

Can other people really make us mad if we choose not to become angry? Although we can certainly blame other people for their actions, can we also blame them for our emotions, and thus the way we respond to their actions? Or, are we responsible for both our emotions and our actions? 

Some people seem to almost always be on the defensive, reacting to the actions of others.  If somebody else frowns at them, they frown back.  If another person mistreats them, they respond by mistreating others.  Is that the way we really want to live? Do we want to allow others to set the agenda for our lives?  Do we want to always be reacting to the actions of others?

Wouldn't it be better to try to always set our own agenda? Why not decide the kind of life we want to live and then allow our own ideals and convictions to determine our actions regardless of what others are doing?  What would be so wrong with smiling and maintaining a cheerful disposition even when nobody else around us is doing so? Is there a chance that others might react to our positive approach to life by becoming more positive themselves?  And if they do not, aren't we still going to benefit from being able to set our own agenda?

Who sets the standards by which we live? Who determines whether we are happy or sad?  Who has the most control over whether we have good days or bad days? If we believe the answer to these questions is "other people," then perhaps there is little we can do about our destiny.  But, if we believe we set the standards by which we live, and we determine whether we have good days or bad ones, then the outlook is much brighter isn't it?  Certainly we are not in total control of our destiny. But isn't it possible that we might have a lot more control over our lives than most of us think?  Is it conceivable that we could radically change our lives simply by learning to act instead of react? Think about it.

Copyright 2014 Allen W. Smith

TB-48—Posted 05/27/2014