By Bernadette A. Moyer

I had this idea that if I did the right things, the right thing would happen for me.

• What I learned is that doing the right thing was what I do for myself and it doesn’t guarantee that things will turn out like I thought.

I had this idea that living by the golden rule would guarantee that if I treated others like I want to be treated they would do the same.

• What I learned is that many people want and expect to be treated better than what they treat others, I learned many do things they would never want done to themselves. 

I had this idea that I could trust all my “friends” because that was the understood definition of friendship.

• What I learned is that isn’t necessarily true and that trusting myself was what was lasting and most important.

I had this idea that if my husband and I worked really hard and gave our children a stable home they would become stable.

• What I learned is their stability would have to come from within themselves.

I had this idea that if I was open and generous others in my life would also be open and generous.

• What I learned is that being open and generous is what I do for myself, others may choose to be closed off.

I had this idea that most things fall into a black or white, right or wrong kind of area.

• What I learned is that many things fall in that gray area.

I had this idea that some events in my life were good and others bad.

• What I learned was that if I turned it around even the things that appeared “bad” could become good and meaningful.

I had this idea that I had to wait for this or that to happen first before going on to the next thing.

• What I learned is that the here and the now are the best times.

I had this idea that my sense of wellness and peace was connected to something or someone else.

• What I learned was that my wellness and peace were always within me, I just needed to tap into it and be open to it.

I had this idea that if I was loveable everyone would just love me.

• What I learned is that I am loveable whether others choose to love me or not is about them.

I had this idea that my happiness was connected to someone or something else.

• What I learned is that my happiness lives inside of me and is not dependent on anyone or anything else. 

I had this idea if I pushed harder, tried harder did everything right that I would always end up in a good place.

• What I learned is that I don’t have to try so hard, sitting back and trusting in the universe brings about all the good naturally.

I had this idea how things should be at 20 and at 30 and at 40 and at 50.

• What I learned is that each decade defines itself in its own way and in its own time.

I had this idea that life is a beautiful thing!

• What I learned is that it life truly is a beautiful thing and even the ugly and the sad and the pain of loss and of love add a beautiful dimension, and offer their own beautiful gifts, as long as we are open and willing to receive them.

Bernadette on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

And other writings may be viewed at www.bernadetteamoyer.com

Bernadette Moyer (Sahm) resides in Lutherville Maryland with her husband Brian Sahm and their two Bichons Happy and Chipper. Ms. Moyer began writing in 1998 with an article titled; A Parent Dies and a published book titled; Angel Stacey.  Bernadette writes about love, hope, faith and about forgiveness. Many struggling with grief through death and estrangement have been inspired by her writings. You can contact her at bmoyer37.aol.com.