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Donna D. Gordon

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How Not to Feel Guilty
by Donna D. Gordon   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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Guilt, the curse of all ages. How do you get out of the guilty feelings we all have about "whatever"?

Guilt, the burden of the ages. Even though dropping the atomic bomb was useful, the world population probably sustains some guilt over the terrible pictures of Hiroshima, and Nagasaki. Such pictures defy pinpointing anyone as the guilty party, or everyone.

My father was in the Pacific, as were many Japanese soldiers, and he says if the Americans would have lost half their forces if they would have had to invade Japan. And that was next on the agenda, if not for the latest in fiery explosion. I was not yet conceived and would not have been born if my father had been killed in previous battles just prior to the bomb. I was born at the very end of World War II, in 1945. My father didn't take credit for his wartime exploits but, instead, felt inferior in achievement to those who lost their lives.

I mention World War II because of the tremendous loss of life in that war, in Korea and in Vietnam. The mad race to escape through drugs, in the 60's, and in materialism and promiscuity in the following decades might very possibly be traced to guilt. I'm looking at the large picture, and tapering it down to my own example. The hippies occurred shortly after these wars, and during Vietnam, and were trying to escape what they felt were the strictures of an outdated system of morals, of which the draft was, in their minds, the primary example, though there were many others. Perhaps the draft is the only cause I might agree with, because the free love and drugs of the sixties, I see as destructive to the structure of society. I am a Bible believing Christian, and see the necessity for marriage and abstinence, though I have surely not always been an example for others to follow.

I personally felt guilt at a very early age - don't we all? We are born into original sin which is washed away through baptism. In my early adulthood, I escaped the false guilt of childhood abuse, and the myriad of other guilt we engendre through our teenage years, through drinking excessively. This habit ruined a marriage, as I fell into a deep depression relieved, or so I thought, by running after another man. So often, discouragement of the soul begins the downward cycle.

I can temporarily escape through eating, reading, crochet, sewing, gardening and various activities, some destructive, some not. I try to keep busy constantly to escape depressive thinking, don't we all? Many of the aforementioned activities are very healthy such as crochet, sewing, and gardening. Perhaps if people could trade the destructive habits for good ones, this would be most helpful in escaping morbid thinking, or discouragement of the soul. For to be human is to be sinful, there's none righteous.

Above all, we must start with repentance, or asking the God of our understanding for forgiveness. There's no one perfect, but some of us, through asking, are forgiven. Then the question becomes, how do I stay out of the guilt that is produced daily? I equate guilt with morbid thinking and unhealthy reflection.

I've been visiting with my relatives in North Carolina and taking walks among the beautiful green trees of the vistas surrounding their home in the woods. Spring is here, and all is full of the promise of a warm summer. I can't help thinking, as I see the breeze blow gently through the tall pines, of the temporary quality of all life. Like the wind, like the blowing of the Holy Spirit through our lives, the only thing permanent in life is change. Either I am going to resist change and stay weighed down by the bad habits of the past, or I'm going to repent and plan to do better, with the guidance of the spirit of knowledge and learning.

Look forward, look forward, the breeze seems to say. As in the Biblical story of Lot's wife who looked backward at a sinful city and turned to salt, I do not want to dwell on the past. God promises He will "restore the days the locust has eaten" and all I have to do is cooperate. Following His will becomes a pleasurable dance, and as my life winds to a close, I look forward to a better one afterward. For death is a part of life, we cannot imagine life without contemplating death. The only fear of death is a fear of what might come afterward. Regardless of how we feel about passing, we cannot stop the march of time and we either flow with it, or buck the tide and float backward.

Go with the flow, repent, and look forward. Say you're sorry when you need to. I hope our government does more than feed those in need around the world. I hope we too can feed the souls with God's hope. Within our own borders, make laws with the understanding of the mercy God shows us all through His divine forgiveness available if we will only ask. That's the first step onto that alluring path of well-being.

How to escape the guilt we are all born with and bound to encounter through our lives is a subject contemplated by theologians. By talking about the twentieth century in American foreign policy, and also about my own particular case, I hope I have shed some light on the causes of guilt. It is impossible to accomplish very much in life if we are worn down by guilt, some our own fault and some not our fault. I see guilt as the cause of unhealthy escapes such as excessive alcohol use or promiscuity. On a much larger scale, the guilt produced by continual wars produces the need for escapes, such as the hippies showed in the sixties.

 
 


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