Destined to be Drowned (poem) by DrShalomim Yahoshua HaLahawi OMD, PhD, PsyD, MRbs, DPH, DFM, Rabi-Cohan on AuthorsDen

Destined to be Drowned
by DrShalomim Yahoshua HaLahawi OMD, PhD, PsyD, MRbs, DPH, DFM, Rabi-Cohan → (All Poetry by DrShalomim Yahoshua HaLahawi OMD, PhD, PsyD, MRbs, DPH, DFM, Rabi-Cohan)
Sunday, July 29, 2018 Not rated by the Author.

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The overwhelmed Priest.

Destined to be Drowned
The Face Spitter--A Prayer

By Dr. Rabbi-Cohen Shalomim Y. HaLahawi

I've given my life to you, but sometimes i feel you spit in my face

It seems you've abandoned me, you've left me all alone in this place

No matter what I do or try, I always seem to fail

Even though I dream of a life of heaven, i'm stil going through hell.

You said you've anointed & called me, but my anointing brings me nothing but frustration

I don't see the supplies I needl, it just feels like a sucide mission to damnation.

You brought me into this world, fashioned me with a painful genetic birth defect

You allowed me to be imperfectly formed, so what else from me could you expect?

I desire in my heart to be a great husband, leader and father, a man focused on family

But every time I try to settle down, you allow satan to take them away from me.

No matter how faithful I am to the ones I love, They always seem to betray me

When ever I am given a genius invention moment, evil comes and try to delay me

I've put in over 14 millions of dollars worth of work, to try to make this world a better place

And I've been greatly awarded, by having everyone turn and simply spit in my facse

I sit here every day in punishing pain, I've worked while in Agony

I've cared for others lives, while no one was caring for me.

I've taken years of sorrow & buried them deep within my soul

From the day I was born until almost 42 years old, I've never felt whole

I have the brain of a genius, the soul of a Billionaire

But yet I've never fulfilled any of this, because who I worship doesn't seem to care...

If money was going to corrupt me, I'd be corruped by now

with all my SUV's, Laptops, computers, 74 inch Tvs and a 350,000 dollar house...

Yet i've never abused my leadership position, I made money and wealth with my own works

I've never stole tithes from followers, nor manipulated them while they hurt.

I've never sided with evil, I've always stood with the oppressed

I've always entered into chaos, and still cleaned up the mess

I've fought against pedophiles, I've helped break up Sex Trafficking Rings

I've saved Porn Stars and Strippers, from the harm that underground world brings..

I've saved lives from accidents, helped those in overturned cars in storms & traffic jams
It didn't matter that there was no News Stories, nor anyone knowing who I am.

I've helped people with addictions, I've turned many lives straight

I've invested into millions of souls, I've turned many from hate

I've spent hundreds of thousands on many women, but not how you would think

By empowering them academically via college, and their genetic roots I'd help them link

Destroying my wealth & value, by loving to all the wrong peoople who didn't love me back

trying soo hard not to loose them, while they were knocking me off track.

I can prophesy in the day, Prophetically predict the truth at night

But when it came to my own life, it seems nothing ever turns out right

I'm probably the only Jewish Rabbi-Cohen, whose turning & embarrassing our history pages

By having 5 wives commmit adultery, and 3 by another man having babies...

This sacred prophetically priestly position is mocked, seems like very few have respect

And yet I've been faithful to you oh Elah, and so this is what I get?

I've had to cut off entire Tribes, connected to my family

those who've abused & used me, while making alliance with my enemies.

You've called me to polygany, but now I am forced into monogamy

My family is imbalanced, because life's beating the hell outta me

I have a beautiful wife whose Torah faithful, the best a man could get

Yet the other one I also love & want seems almost impossible, why won't you let?

I feel as if i'm in game of cat & mouse, but some-how i'm the cheese.

Trying to survive & be pleasing to your eyes, yet knocked out dying like Apollo Creed

What am I supposed to do, How the hell am I supposed to fulfill?

If you don't give me the supply, the balance, how else can i do your will?

My brothers, sisters & cousins,some of my children are alienated & led astray

How can you tell me to redeem the world, when I can't even give them the WAY?

I tried to protect my oldest daughter, when she was sexually & physically abused

Yet I was made to be a monster, and my total fatherhood was defused

I tried hard to give my children, the best life a child could have

And yet because of some-one elses adultery, satan is getting the last laugh?

11 years she used my last name, was giventhe world she played happy & laughing

We were a power team turned enemies overnight, onlyh to have our marriage invalidated as if it never happened.

International news, my name reputation & life was drug through the mud

I could only sit there and weep, feeling dumber than Elmer fudge

The emotional pain was just as bad, as the physical I suffered each day, month & year

And yet i still cried out to you, even though you didn't seem to hear.....

No matter how hard i keep trying, I keep falling as if my life didn't matter

And as soon as I get to a healing point, here comes satan with another dagger.

At my weakest physical points, the Delilahs come, infiltrating in.

And then I have to suffer again, for their abominable sins?

I've never broken rank, never comprimised, my Jewish integrity

Yet still my hair was being cut, because of the Delilahs sleeping next to me.

If my anointing was really important, and I was sent to turn many from destructive sin

Then why didn't you intervene, even just for protecting the Priestly image, when I had woman who waas sleeping with over 13 men?

I could have gotten HIV, It could have been HPV.
I could have been exposed HCV, HSV, to a number of incurable STD's

I feel I am crossing a stream, thats now turned into a raging river instead.

I'm stuggling really hard from drowning, but the water keeps going over my head.

the weight is really pulling, gravity is bringing me down

If you don't send the right helpmeets & people, I know I'm going to drown.

My life is overwhelmed, my strength is giving out

I'm in this river alone oh Elah, please hear my screams and shouts...

I don't have the energy to stand anymore, I don't know if the masses I can lead

I've given up my great gift of speech, the prophetic ability to get people to take heed.

I resignded from being a Standing Rabbi-Cohen, its been 8 years now since I've led a synagogue

My domestic image is ruined from Lies & slander, I'm all bruised up from being dogged.

Everything surrounding me, is pure evil and corrupt

As if everyone is holding my head under this water, where i am breathless and about to give up.

The world is heartless, people are suffering, with no justice nor legitimate cause

and yet I feel I'm shackled from stepping in with solutions, because my own life is on pause

Despite the pain, suffering and sorrow you created me in, you still put me in a near suicidal race

Knowing full well, I'd trip and fall....Its like you enjoy spitting in my face.

Whats my use, why did you create me, I'm not sure I really know the purpose?

I don't feel royal, nor priestly nor Kingly, I just feel like the Suffering Servant.

I don't have a boat to row row row, gently down and accross this stream

I just feel I can't win, and am punished for others sin, as if my life is nothing but a horrible dream.

drowing drowning, no one to save me, I'm taking water into my lungs

The Eternal Breathe of life, is slipping away, the shadowland song is being sung.

Like Moses who did miracles and spoke to masses, all that Elah would say

suddenly because of the wickedness of others, he himself lost the WAY.

I'm no Job, nor am I a Moses, nor any of the Hebrew Prophets I guess

I'll never win, without you stepping in, even when i give my best.....

So here I am in the middle of the night, with tears swelling up in my eyes

While everyone is sleep, my soul to keep, alone, no one hears my cries.

Elahoi Elahoi Lama Sabachthani, the cry you hear from me.

If I'm truly your son, the Anointed One, why have you abandoned me?

I don't know what else to do, or where else to turn and look

I just feel my heart, life and dignity, you allowed them to be took...

What else oh Elah do you expect of me, if you are going to allow me to be kept down?

I just feel overwhelmed, bruised & abaondeded, as if I was destined to be drowned.

Edenic Civilization