Coming Undone

I feel I am coming undone,

The stitches of self-confidence,

Separating at their seams.

Like a duck on a pond, gliding along,

Onlookers see serenity and peace,

As the ripples flow to the shore.

But under the surface, I paddle so furiously,

Working so hard just to keep up pretenses.

There seem too many restraints holding me back,

Stalling my dreams, I feel less than noble.

For I am not happy with just doing,

Moving by rote muscle memory, Skimming along,

I have a burning to be something more,

To inspire, to influence, to somehow change the world.

So, a child left my care today,

Three years my student, my own Huck Finn,

I didn’t do enough I fear, or didn’t do it right,

And I realize how fragile my own ego is,

My childhood still haunts, as I doubt my own value,

I feel I am coming undone.