Home On The Range

Highway 287 runs from Fort Worth to Fairbanks.
(Along the AlCan Highway?) To Canada we give thanks!
When you're goin' up yonder, you'll cross many a-state line.
Just before you leave Texas,
There's that old hometown of mine.

I'm from Stratford!
(On Avon?)
Nope, it's on Coldwater Creek!
We've heard old Willy Shakespeare,
But that's not the way we spake!
The last town in Texas on your way to Nome;
The FIRST town in Texas on your way back home!!!

There are thousands of small hometowns.
Maybe you're from one of them!
Maybe there was a creek or pond
Where you learned how to swim.
Bet'cha dollars to dough-nuts that'cha had a Dairy Queen!
(Where you went for a foot-long hotdog
And some hot-fudge ice cream???)

There's a Stratford, Connedicut *
(It's on Long Island Sound?)
They've got the Shakespeare Festival:
Theatre-in-the-Round!
But you can hear in any honky-tonk
About love's labors lost,
'Bout the tamin' of the shrew,
And much ado about the cost!
[* sic]

You've heard of famous little towns
Where people always stop.
(Like Cripple Creek, Centerfield, and good ol' Rocky Top?)
When you're pullin' into Stratford
--if you don't even slow down--
You'll raise the dust, and if you sneeze
You'll miss the whole danged town!!!

(Repeat Chorus)

<Lyrics and music available for issue.>