A love poem - from "The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat"

Wednesday January 22nd

I am still pining for Snowball. Spent the day writing her a love poem.

Snowball you melt my heart.

Snowball, it is you I crave,
For you I would be strong, daring and brave,
For you I would climb the highest tree,
Or swim across the deep blue sea, (if I could swim)
To prove my love I would kill a thousand rats,
Throttle mice and slay vampire bats, (Note: not sure if you get these in Scotland)
To make you mine I would do anything,
Just don’t ask me to fight that evil brute Killer. (sorry, couldn’t find a word that rhymed)

The next time I meet Snowball I will win her affection by reciting my poem. (I find this option much preferable to dueling to the death)