of awakening
beyond cares
that sift through thought
like autumn leaves
leaving whispers
voices echoing
in corners of consciousness
dusty without love
sulking
awaiting tomorrow

questions of how
to live my life
when i am constantly
dreaming of the past
or future
how can i see clearly
when the compass of my thoughts
is spinning out of control
when my sight is blurred by
wistful fantasies of
what might have been
or what could be
if only things had gone
or do go
a different way

who is to tell
which vision to choose
of the myriad choices
that confront me
my emotions confound clarity
and a moment's anger
becomes a day's regret
and then it's gone
and another has come
another chance to move
into the light
to release the darkness
that fell
when i chose to go down
the lesser path
knowing full well
where that road would lead me

words of wisdom
stumble across my tongue
tripping and falling in hopeless disarray
as i try to erase
the scribbled writings of a lifetime
try a new way of thinking
in place of the old

the past
must remain undeniably so
the future
must be left to fate and circumstance
what is now
must be cherished
and experienced to the fullest
what is love
must be loved with all of my heart

dreaming lucidly i awaken
to a new kind of living
and i see the world with new colors
unimagined
and beautiful
beyond my wildest fantasy

the choice is mine
to leave behind the
shadow of myself
and carry forth
the essence of who i am
recreating myself anew
with each moment
regardless
of what is to come

the undreamt of shines
in light of truth
and a long and winding path of dismay
will end in joyous discovery
awakening every synapse to possibility
before i return to
the waking death
and dress myself in lesser garments
of muted clarity

tommorrow must be different
or it will not come
for it will then be a repetition of today
and of yesterday and
all the days past
the lessons that have battered my soul
without remorse

a daunting reminder that
what is done cannot be undone
but also a prescient recognition that
upon awakening
the world will be different

if only in light i dream