A first poem, but one with a heartfelt meaning based on factual events that I hope will excuse any inadequacies.

My first love? Yes.
My first experience? No.
The love of my life?
Do you really want to know?

Fifty years have gone their way,
Since it was we parted.
And not a day of them went by,
But I was broken hearted.

I've had many lovers in that time,
And they were good and bad.
But none did stay to last the course,
For I was always sad.

In their eyes I'd search for him,
And in their fond embrace.
It was unfair of me I know,
This quest for that heart-race.

Only he had that effect on me,
He'd lift my soul on high.
I still remember every time,
And then I start to cry.

Why was life so cruel to us,
With that brave new start?
Neither of us wanted it,
It ripped our love apart.

A secret love, as times demanded,
One so misunderstood.
Tender, young and beautiful,
And everything that's good.

Too young was I to stay behind,
Too young was he to follow.
Promises to write fell through,
And that's a case for sorrow.

As each year passes, more and more,
I yearn to see his smile.
Just once more, for old time's sake,
To hold him for a while.

Is he still alive, I ask?
Has life been good to him?
I hope it has, I really do,
Wealthy, fit and trim.

I have a million words for love,
Unending, they go on.
Forbidden then; forbidden now,
All those words are: John.

 

© Michael Knell 2007.