Quid Pro Quo Infomercial

But wait…there’s more…

With your relevance at risk
Like follicle betrayal

Ego may afford little time for acceptance

Whether due to stress

Or those pesky genes

Loss is loss

But hey, you don’t have to “get used to it”

The democracy may be at risk

But with orange suntan aplenty

There’s a savior waiting to rebuild

With yet another Rogaine of disappointment

But wait…there’s more…

For just three more pounds of your flesh

Accompanied by background checks our way

And the complete demise of education

Plus, just a few more strands from your bald pate

You can have the miracle

The Evolved Mac Burger party fix

Once indulged

Caring about your mancave quaff or womanhood blond streaking

Will be irrelevant

So, don’t wait

Order your quid pro quo now

Just use the convenient

Last unemployment check

And contribute before my life-line ends

You can have…

Have…

Uh….

Free pass for avoiding any more of my bullshit?