Frozen With Doubt

That smile
So muscularly innocent
That glad hand
So soft to the victim's touch

Ever the charming
Priest
Banker
Boss
Counselor
Lover

How blurred the image
When vision wishes to trust
Even as refractive shards dissuade
As heat and light-waves spell caution

We desire to trust
Being wired to believe
Forgive
Invite
Embrace

But oh

The electric field
That gap between mind and heart
What challenges it faces
What fatigue it endures
Even as we deny
The making of the said surge of suffering

Why do we deny our own creation
That landscape of barren emotion
Until it's not
The passion starved
Until it's nourished
The epiphany thrust
Melding heart and mind
Needing desperately to be at peace

We freeze with doubt

We long to embrace the twists and turns
To long for the unpredictability of honesty
Accept its weakness
Revel in its oft times strength
Making the best of intent to humble itself
In the reality of the moment

After all

We are not perfect
No matter the education
The experience
The blessing...for some
The hard knocks...for most of us

And yes

We are not wired to willingly hurt ourselves
We just might not be capable
Of recognizing the epiphanous nature of self-doubt

Perhaps

We are
Casually vicious
Not knowing any better
For fear of taking ourselves
Seriously