Wait. What was that pressure on my back. Like something putting pressure to come out. Is there somebody below me.

"Help is there somebody there." 

I have tried this many times. Not one reply yet. But this pressure below me is definitely somebody pushing me up. I can feel two hands pushing me from below.

 " Can anybody hear me." 

Why isn't someone replying. There must be someone below me. Am I in a compartment like one in morgue. can i kick and come out. I can't touch the side of casket with my feet. Is there any wall or am I in a tunnel. There is nothing near my head either. I am in some sort of a tunnel. I need to drag myself to some side. Let us go towards my legs.  I am a little scared to go towards my head. It will make my head a little vulnerable to whatever lies ahead. Lets make a move. I am not so sure how far I will be able to get. Its a tiring pursuit. I am not being able to use all my body parts to the full. I can only move my legs and hands to a little extent and drag myself bit by bit. I can still feel the pressure on my back some times. Its like somebody is trying to move just like me using his hands on the top of their tunnel. Is there an end. Will I die here?  I can't breath. 

"Somebody... Is somebody out there. Help please." My words are fading into sobs. No I can't cry, I promised. What the hell is the promise when I am about to die and anyways do I fulfill all the promises?

Why did I promise such a thing to myself? I cried a lot when I was young. I always thought I was under appreciated genius. I never liked the competition, always trying to find ways to avoid them at all cost, still trying to find ways to look cool. Still thinking about being the famous kid. Still trying to find ways to be noticed. I could feel my transparency when somebody passed. I was always afraid to be alone, afraid of the thought that nobody will be there by my side that I have to work harder to keep someone as my friend. I lied and made more and more attractive lies to keep them there to see me. I never realized.... wait..... it looks like someone moved side ways just below me. Is it just my imagination or this is what is actually happening. Is there someone really below me? But how is he moving sideways from me. Am I in a network of tunnels, criss-crossing. Ahhhhhhh, help me God. I remember the time when I decided to give myself to you. In a way I left everything on you and sat down, without even thinking that i have to work in order to move on. you wont come down to work for me. 

Move...move, its still dark. I dont know why I can't even see the wall right next to my eyes. It can't be the darkness. Am I blind. Stop thinking the worst case scenarios and keep moving. My feet are now touching the wall. So here is where it ends. I am in a straight tunnel and I found its one end. The only way now is to go on the other side. My head wont be very safe for very long here as such.

How long have I been pushing myself to come to this point. Have I even crossed the place I started. How did I end up in the middle of this tunnel. What is the last thing I remember I was on a trip to Santa Cruz. We went to play guitar on the beach at night time. Then what happened? How did I get lost. I still remember the lighthouse entrance, that weird symbol on the wall, that weird inscription. I had to follow to see where it lead or else I was the coward.

The lighthouse was so big on the inside that it reminded me of the magical tents in Harry Potter. The art inside the lighthouse was exquisit. The pictures of people reading others thoughts. It was intriquing to see them. I always wanted to see inside the head of others. Always the weak kid in the block I was. Seeing people laugh made me  think they are laughing at me. Always finding ways to control or hate each and every one I can see. But with my skill it was mostly hate that I got. I hated them all. Forever. I hated them because I never got a chance and they did.....at everything. I never got a chance at basketball, cricket, even when I was better than most playing. Hold it, why am I lying even to myself? They were better than me. I tried harder and harder and got more and more bitter day by day. Coach never noticed me...never.

Back to the problem at hand, I feel the surface becoming rough here. This seems like more cushioned. No this seems like it is bending with my weight. May be I can break this and fall down. Hitting the surface wont help unless I put all the force I can muster in this place. One Two Three "bam", One Two Three "bam", One Two Three "bam". 

"Aahhhhh". It broke. My leg is stuck in the tunnel, the rest of the body is hanging. God where are you? Why don’t you come and help me here? 

FOCUS HERE. No time for day dreaming here. I need to see if I can touch something here. There are walls all around here. but at a little distance. My eyes seem to start to adjust here. I am hanging upside down in a tunnel and I can’t see where it ends. Falling down is not exactly an option here. I have to get back to the tunnel I was in before.

All right a sit up from upside down. Come on push yourself. You can reach it. Just a little bit more. "Aaaahhh". My leg is hurting while I try to get a hold. How is my leg stuck in there. I am not wearing anything which can get stuck. It doesn’t feel like something pierced my leg and is holding me. That should hurt like hell. So how am I stuck there. Why am I not falling. Holy shit. What the hell was that? What did I see there?

"Who is there". You are calling what you saw. Is it really possible. Isn’t that the same as the picture in that old book in the library. Dude, you are hallucinating. It can’t be. That is supposed to be the guardian on one's "self". How can I see something that is only mythical. But I did see something. "Anybody up there". "Not yet, but you will be here as soon as I get you back."

What the fuck. Something is really pulling me up.

"Who are you? What do you want."

"Do you really want to know."

Some one is saying something. But the voice seem to be coming from very far. Its breaking like voice in heavy wind. "Yes, I do."

"I don’t think you can handle it."

What do this "thing" has in mind, if it has a mind at all. 

"Try me."

"You are stuck inside your mind."

"Inside my own mind. What does that even mean?”

" I am the guardian of your 'self'. I am the one who stops others from getting inside your mind and know what you are thinking. But there is one more function I perform."

"And what is it?"

"I stop you from falling outside of your own mind, which you are about to do."

" But I was stuck in a small tunnel."

" Thats exactly what your mind is, a small tunnel."

That makes me stuck in my worst nightmare for the time I am alive. 

"That means I am inside of my mind, literally here. I don't understand. What is happening to me?”

"Do you remember the sign on the wall when you entered the lighthouse?"

"Yes"

"That is when you got inside the mind of this girl."

"What girl?"

"I am not sure, but her mind has a female resistance."

"What do you mean?"

"Forget it."

"But then what is this I am experiencing?"

"I am experiencing this for the first time as well, just as you. I am a part of you."

"But I didn’t know that I am stuck in my mind, you told me that."

"That is because your consciousness is not allowing you to accept the reality. I, on the other hand, am above the filter your consciousness put to help you focus."

"What will happen when you get me back in that tunnel, you say is my mind"

" That is for you to figure out. I am here to work on the specific purpose I have."

"You mean to stop me from from falling out of my own mind."

"Yes."

"But I don't want to be stuck back there."

"I still can’t let you out."