The sound and smell of garlic being sautéed filled my entire kitchen. The aroma of brewing coffee was also in the air. I didn’t want to get up yet, but breakfast was so inviting. My stomach growled in protest. Okay, okay we’re waking up. I pushed myself up and dragged my feet towards the door. I was about to twist the doorknob when I heard his voice.

“Stop right there!”

I halted and didn’t move my feet. I listened more closely to the conversation that was about to ensue.

“Where are your manners, boy?” I heard him say, I smiled as I knew where the conversation was heading to. I was trying to conceal my laughter.

“Ah- who are you?”, was Erik’s rebuttal. He was intently looking at this guy who seems to be at his mid forty’s. He stood six feet tall, wearing a white sando shirt with a blue apron over it.

Oh, this can be good. I thought.

“No, messenger, get your ass on the front door and learn how to knock.”, he commanded with firm authority in his voice.

“Yes, sir.”, it was Erik as he proceeded to my front door, closed it, and knocked.

“Come in!”, he gleefully called out to Erik. “Please, introduce yourself, boy.”

Erik was taken aback. This guy who was in front of him ordered him as if he was way older than he is. However, Erik obliged. He was not in his house in the first place. “I’m Erik Octavio.”, he formally and respectfully stated as he handed out his hand towards him. “A messenger, but currently Theo’s handler.”

“Octavio.”, the guy wearing an apron looked at him with full scrutiny from top to bottom. He took his hand and shook it. “Impressive soul cluster, Erik, and your Earth lives are commendable. Hard level, war, depression, third world country, too much poverty, sickness, and overcoming all of them, changing your own fate and wheel of recurrence. You’ve gotten a bit much cancer in your Earth lives huh.”, he said nonchalantly.

“Stop scaring him, Grandpa.”, I finally stepped out of my room smiling.

“Grandpa? But you look so young.”, said Erik.

“Gramps owns the state of health.”, I proudly proclaimed.

Erik pulled out the chair next to him and offered it to me. I sat myself there comfortably. The letter was in my hand. The name on the letter was Thomas de Paso. And oh boy, the dark negative energy on this one was immense. I placed it on the table and breathed deeply. I slowed down my breathing and touched the letter with my fingertip. I felt the energy of the letter sucking me in. It was as if a thick dark soupy energy crept out of it and made its way to my veins, taking in my Being, welcoming me. It was an entity of immense power.

I found myself in a space of time where there was only darkness. I could not see anything. Even my hands were invisible to me, but I felt myself growing in strength and size. 

“Get me out of here!” I heard someone screamed. It was a male’s voice. It was still too dark around. I had zero visibility.

A small window opened at the middle of the door. A fraction of light entered the room revealing that there was a food holder at the opening. “De Paso, eat.”

I saw a frail guy sitting on the bed. His eyes were shut and both hands were placed on his ears. He was rocking himself back and forth. This image was so far from what I had known of him from articles and the news.

“No, no, no. It’s not real. It’s not real. Stop, stop, stop.”, he pleaded again and again.

“Eat or you’ll die in there.”, the voice commanded, and he shut the small opening making the entire room one with darkness once more.

“I know you can’t see me, Thomas.” I hesitated and took a deep breath. “My name’s Theo.”

The metal door finally opened and a faint light from the fluorescent outside the room provided some illumination.  Capitan Thomas hurriedly dashed outside the corridor.

“Oh Christ, I am not chasing you man.”, I told him. I stood up and checked the direction he went. He was nowhere. In seconds, he reemerged at the opposite side of the corridor. The light flickered several times as he ran past me which he did again and again and again.

“Help!”, he yelled out while running.

“Capitan Thomas aren’t you tired?”, I asked as he ran by me again.

I followed him with my eyes as he disappeared at the end of the dimly lighted hall and only to reappear on the other end. He then headed back inside the room and dropped his tired body on the bed. He was sweating profusely from all the running he had done.

“Great. Now, as I was saying, I am here to give you this-“, and all I heard was his loud snoring.

That was it. It instantly triggered me. I felt the anger welled up inside me automatically. I had no control on it. I grabbed his shirt by the neck and shouted at him. “Wake up!”

I stopped for a bit and was surprised with myself. Why did I do that? What just happened?

Awareness, Theo. Erik reminded me in almost a whisper.

Capitan Thomas de Paso slowly opened his eyes. Fear was written all over him. He struggled against my grip, pushed me away. He was throwing me the hardest punches he could muster in his frail and weakened condition. It did nothing. I overpowered him. I, in me wanted also so much to kill him. I gripped his neck with my hands. It was so easy for me to break it and hear the cracking of his bones. It felt amusing to do it as well. Both his hands were on my forearm trying his hardest to loosen my grip on his neck. Images of women and children screaming flashed in my head. Their voices were pleading to stop, stop, stop, repeatedly. This was the reel in my mind, and it kept playing on and on as if it was on an instant replay.

“You deserve this.”, I was draining the life out of him. “You deserve to die!”

“Stay away from me, please, you monster!”, he barely uttered.

“What?” I got confused. On my other side was the sink. There was a small mirror on it. That was when I saw how I appeared to him. My eyes were bloodshot red. Hair was all over me and I was engulfed by a shadowy auric dark energy. I was humongous with fangs. I loosened my grip on him. He swung at me, once, twice, too many times. I kept growing and growing and becoming even more powerful. It was as if I was absorbing all his anger and madness, he had in him. I dropped him on the floor, jumped at him, and proceeded in giving him back the punches he threw at me. Vivid images of the women and children being decapitated flashed in my mind. Their screams once more echoed in my ears. These weren’t my memories.

Theo. I heard a woman’s voice. I stopped, closed my eyes, drew a deep breath and pictured myself in my peaceful garden.  

Good. It was Erik.

Decapitated bodies of women and children being burned instantly appeared in my mind once again. What was that? Another image popped; it was a burning house with too many dead bodies in it. Capitan de Paso looked me in the eye. There was another emotion there, disgust, hate. He shouted at me, screamed, and ran away. None of it was diminishing my power. He finally gave up, tired, and defeated.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”, he was crying like a little child. “Yes, I took their lives and burned them all.”

That was when I realized, I was inside his own monster, the evil of his own making, his dweller. It was wanting him to take notice.

“Please forgive me. I love those kids and the people in the foster care.”, his voice was trembling as he cried even harder.

I reached out to his face and gave him the envelop. When he opened it, there was an old picture of the foster house with the kids lined up in front. Capitan Thomas de Paso was with them in the picture. He was gorgeous and happily smiling with the women and kids. He was that person I remember from the stories. In that picture, there was so much love, bliss, joy, and contentment. He was reminded of the times when he was chasing the kids in the garden, and they were all laughing. He dropped the picture on the floor. His thoughts went back again to the burning house, dead bodies he piled up and buried. He was consumed by anger, grief, and thoughts of revenge to the people who took away his precious heaven. He vowed not to stop until he killed all of them. Morning, noon, and night, he fed himself with hatred, anger, and resentment. That was when the dweller became larger and larger. He was able to track down the mastermind of the gruesome massacre and had great satisfaction in killing that man.

I saw in his bank of memories the joyous and blissful moments he spent with the kids. I tried to make that image larger in his mind. He was looking deep in my eyes. I grabbed the picture on the ground and showed it to him once more. He was once again filled with wonderful memories.

Okay, great. That’s it. I thought to myself.

For the first time, he looked at me with love in his eyes. I felt the warmth of his stare. I shrank a little bit. He touched my face and kneeled before me crying incessantly.

“Kids, I’m sorry I got you into it.”

I looked in the mirror on my side and I was wearing the face of a child, one of the kids in the foster care. Then it was changing to a face of a grown man, the one who initiated the killings. He looked at me once more and saw himself, the monster in front of him was none other than himself.

“I’m so so tired. I’m tired of feeling broken. I’m tired of this grief I proudly carry. I am letting go.”, he whispered. He proceeded in reaching the back of my neck and hugged me tightly. He was starting to forgive himself, and I was becoming lighter and lighter. In moments, kids’ laughter filled the room. Memories of him and kids running around, playing, cooking flashed in my mind as well. Blissful memories after blissful memories poured in. There even a reel of him holding a book and reading it to the kids. There was so much happiness in his eyes. Light flooded in swiftly leaving me squinting.

When I opened my eyes, I was separating from the monster that Capitan was fighting. I didn’t realize I got sucked into that state of consciousness.

Thank you, Theo. I heard Capitan telepathically. He just risen from his bed, a new man. He had forgiven himself. His dweller appeared in the background, but no longer a monster. He had transformed it to his most precious jewel, his memory of Earth with other incarnates.

Gramps offered me a glass of cold water. “Drink, grandson, it’s good for you.”

“I can’t believe I lost myself in that state!”, I exclaimed. “Damn it!”

“Oh yeah, you are one fighter, Theo.”, Erik laughed at me. “Come on, Theo. You’re better than that. Let go.”

“Theo, don’t let the egg pie wait that long. I’ve baked it with the freshest ingredients!”, Gramps proclaimed.

Erik pointed at the trash bin with containers and wrappers.

“-called All is God.”, Gramps happily teased him.

The end. Thank you so much. Have a good one.