His skinny yet muscled arm protruded from the tie-dyed, t-shirt .  His shirt ablaze in orange, yellow, blue, green sun ray streaked shirt lay just over his beating heart, a heart that was like gold in its purity.  I remember that heart, kind, respectful, and loving.   I also remember what that heart became, addicted to the high, selfish, amoral, and manipulative.  
Both lived under that tie dyed t-shirt. One was a fisherman, and lover of nature, a republican, ( I didn’t understand that part) the other a criminal, a thief stealing from ones he loved without hesitation.   He even stole from relationships until all he left was the anger, and the loss. 
He was memorable, he was lovable, he was amoral and was finally asked to leave, was paid to leave, and his leaving will always be the lowest point in my life, and the grandest.  
He was a study in self-destruction. 
The days grow long and love has returned, although a one way street, in that I receive it.  Another gives me love and I am grateful and thank God for it.   I do relish the feel of love given me, I will however, always have the dream, a dream that shall never be fulfilled, of the grand love, the great love affair,  that can never be.   I would rather die then face that sort of exquisite pain again.