(Telephone Rings) Queen: Yes?

William: Grandmum, Willie here.

Q: Oh Willie! I can't thank you enough for ringing up.

W: Are you all right, Mum?

Q: I'm fine, Dear. So very fortunate for a...umm...period piece!

W: Oh Mum, none of that silliness. You can still outride me any day. Period piece--yeah, sure!

Q: I'm fortunate with such lovely grandchildren. How's that?

W: Better, Mum.

Q: Speaking of riding, I've quite forgot how a poor mount feels even. Oh, but I had my days, did I not Luv?

W: Indeed you did, Grandmum. Wish sometimes I could've been there.

Q: Oh Willie. How amazing. But I do find that hard to believe!

W: Yeah, maybe. Just kidding, Mum.

Q: Kidding? Willie, you speak like an American, I believe. Would it be due to your tutors these days or all those foreign videos?

W: To be truthful, Mum, it would be both. Yeah, no doubt. I'll fight it mum.

Q: Yes. One must be aware at least, Luv. Incidentally, about little Harry.

W: Oh Mum, Harry's growing so. Like a weed, as they say.

Q: Weed? Goodness, Dear. What do you know about weeds?

W: Oh Mum. They're everywhere. All kinds, too.

Q: Do you think you'll ever take up gardening, Luv?

W: (Smiles) That, Mum, I can't say. But I'll never say never!

Q: How clever. Isn't that an old Bond movie, "Never Say Never?"

W: No, Mum. I believe there's one titled, "Diamonds Are Forever."

Q: But I'm rather certain. "Never...Never Say Never Again"...That's it! At my...about Harry now...

W: Oh Mum, he's...

Q: Allow me, Dear.

W: Sure, Mum.

Q: You two are close in age, believe it or not.

W: Relatively, Mum.

Q: I'd like to see you close in other ways. Do you see what I mean dear?

W: Umm, think I do rather.

Q: You must help Harry every opportunity you get, Luv. You are, and must be, an example.

W: I see, Mum, but I'm NOT his dad.

Q: (Winces) No Heart, you're nowhere near. However, a NICE brother is also very very important. Do you follow me, Luv?

W: Sure, Mum. Totally.

Q: Good, Luv. Now about your Christmas gifts.

W: Christmas? It isn't Christmas, Mum.

Q: I realize that, Willie. Your grandmum isn't witless yet. I don't want to shop at Yuletide. I want to shop now. And since I'm the Queen, I shall!

W: Mum.

Q: My Luv?

W: Here's a kiss for you. (Sound of a smack)

Q: Now that's lovely. Oh, my eyes. Misty again.

W: Mine too, Mum. Say, I'll take my list over to you very soon.

Q: That's a dear. Adieu!

W: Yeah Mum. See you soon. (Both ring off)

END