Just when you believe you have faced every trial, tackled every obstacle... life hands you one more opportunity to grow! Our obstacle, infertility, but our goal became clearly defined as adoption. God's plan, perhaps a bit different than our own, became clear. Isn't it wonderful how all these doors to growth appear just when you think everything is going according to 'your' plan? You think you see the pot of gold in the distance and then BAM a storm blows in with a problem you must solve.
Since adopting our son, I've noticed a lot of parents who fret and pick up the worry stick to the point of not being able to enjoy their child. They are so focused on the disabilities that they overlook the abilities of their child. As a mother of five children, one with Down syndrome, coloboma and two heart defects, I know the best thing I can give my child is an optimistic view. If we are to make a positive difference in the lives of our children, I believe we need to focus on their strengths. By doing this I believe we are teaching our children to think positive and believe in them. The people in this world outside of our homes certainly will be the ones to remind our children of their weaknesses. I don't know about you, but I think I'd hope my parents would point me in the direction of a positive future with the strength to stand up against negative opposition from the outside world.
Funny thing happened to me recently. I began writing this story last night to find out today that I have ONE more opportunity to grow. I think my angels have a fantastic sense of humor and I'm sure I'm being used to help someone out there in the world cope. My three year old son, Noah, needs his parents to make a crucial decision as to what kind of heart repair will be done on his heart. This is the toughest decision I've ever faced in my life. This world offers our children fantastic medical technology. Every day scientists discover new cures, new procedures, and the information on the internet seems gigantic especially when you have to focus on your child and making the RIGHT choice.
My son, one of the many joys of my life, was born with an atrial septal defect which is now the size of 7 mm. He also has a PDA which normally closes up soon after birth. I'm told two things can be done. We can opt for open heart surgery or we can have two different devices placed in these holes by going through his veins. The second option is less evasive with less risk. However, there is no long term study done to know what the future will bring with these devices later on. Open heart surgery means more complications, but they can close off these holes with stitches. He'd have a scar on his chest, and they would have to stop his heart. Recovery for the first option meant one day hospitalization. Open heart surgery, of course, would be a longer stay in the hospital perhaps two to three days depending on how he is doing.
In times like these I wish God gave you a manual on what choices to make as a parent. You know you have to make a decision and focus on the good. So my wheels began spinning today knowing the best decision "I" could make as a parent, would be an informed one. Gosh, the internet is wonderful when you want to send one letter to several people! I know I can reach out and reach several websites like webmd.com, or unomas21.com and find people or information to help me make the decision for my child. I also know if I'm not careful I could choose to get sucked into someone else’s horror story. I don't have an answer today of what the choice is that we will make. We are in the process of setting up a meeting with the surgeon and the pediatric cardiologist to get more information. Our situation is not one in which we need to make a decision today and I'm certainly thankful for the time!
Kids are great! My son came up to me during his occupational therapy session and wrapped his little arms around my neck giving me a little squeeze. I think he knew I needed that hug today. I know he is counting on me right now, but I also know we are going to get through this and come out the other side smiling. God answered a prayer when we received a phone call that a baby boy waited in the hospital for us to pick him up. Our phone rang three years ago and our lives have been forever changed. There we were scrubbing up in the NICU to meet this little Italian boy with a head full of hair. Coloboma wasn't mentioned and we were told the holes in his heart would close up without medical intervention. Terrified of adopting a child who needed heart surgery, we asked for a child with only minimal health issues. You ask yourself what can you handle and what situations might be overwhelming. I can tell you from experience, love does conquer all fears and you find strength, courage, and the motivation to raise a special needs child. I’d do it all over again even knowing one day we might face a heart issue.
