USF Medical College Mourning

UPI Wire 4/19/2004

The University of South Florida College of Medicine is mourning the tragic death of an internationally known internist at a department party.

Dr. Bismark Glendenning, Distinguished Research Professor of Medicine died Monday in a freak accident at The Tampa Convention Center. According to sources at the medical school, the Department of Medicine contracted with Hooters Catering for a party of several hundred physicians. “They wanted two hundred bowls of clam chowder so we suggested one big bowl.” Said, John Rich Vice President for Hooters Catering. The party that took place last night went horribly wrong when Glendenning an expert on neuro-toxins became intoxicated. “He fell in the soup and we tried to pull him out but it was too late” Added a despondent medical student. While he struggled in ten feet of soup, he was devoured by undercooked clams. “People don’t realize that clams aren’t one species but several. Hooters picked a species that has teeth.” Explained Sylvia Earl, renowned marine biologist. As a result of the tragedy, Hooters switched to a different species of clam for it’s chowder but for some the switch is overdue. “Not only did my dad die, but he spoiled my chowder so I had to go to sleep hungry.” An unnamed source added. 

Glendenning's distinguished career started by finishing medical school in Bombay, India. by age twenty.   When asked why he picked an offshore medical school he replied,

"Bombay has the world's greatest variety of Indian restaurants."

Later on in South Africa he obtained his MD in Gastroenterology and did his dissertation on "Integration of  banned substances {ie rat poison nuclear waste motor oil etc. } in award winning hot sauce".