The story of transformation from being in "ill at ease dilemma" to "the king of the road" and back to being in "no man's land"
Its one of those days when nothing seems to do it at all and all you want to do is just be yourself, away from the ambiance of your typical routine. Today, you do not want to be at work as your mind is wandering around and your interest is drifting away from your job description. Today, as usual you turn on your computer and go over your to-do-list which you made last evening before leaving for home.
· Study the structural drawings
· Attend the in-house meeting.
· Meet with the Contractor
· Discuss the load-test program with the Contractor, and
· Many more…
“Jeez, this seems to be the longest to-do-list I have ever seen.” I state as I agitate being at the office.
Somehow, I try to convince myself to focus on it otherwise things will pile up with the upcoming week’s assignments. While reading the very first task, “Study the structural drawings….”, on the to-do-list, I recollect that my first mid-term starts in 5 days.
Now my to-do-list and my engagement with my MBA school seem to be asking me to climb up the Mount Everest.
“Damn! This is torture. I am really not in the mood to do anything.” I say to myself. “In fact, I do not even want to think. I want my mind to shut down completely and myself resting in bed with nothing but a complete silence having its blanket around me.”
In spite of this wish, which does not seem to be fulfilling anytime soon, things get worse and shoddier when the noise of typing on different key boards, chatting on the phone and footstep noises of the passer by strike my ears. This infuriates and frustrates me even more that everyone around me, seems to be busy fulfilling their job descriptions whilst me just sitting like the dead.
Ah whom am I kidding? I am at work and ironically I am sitting uneasy on my leather stitched office chair. Being in this ill at ease dilemma, I take a look around me so I can get motivated from my colleagues to jump start on some of the tasks I had in mind last evening. Having optimistic approach in mind, I look closely at people sitting in the cubicles around mine. Quite contradictory to my belief, I get more unenthusiastic as I find my colleagues typing gibberish on their key boards, chatting with their spouses on the phone, while some just bored enough to be pseudo-studying the 6 ft wide construction drawings. This somewhat puts me to ease, as I am not the only one slacking on my work today.
Suddenly my phone rings, “ Hello”
The Receptionist, “ Mr. Akram is here to see you.”
Myself, “Yeah, seat him in the conference hall, I will be there shortly.”
Mr. Akram is a supplier for air-conditioning equipments. He called me yesterday that he wanted to see me to market his product for an upcoming project my office is launching in 2 weeks.
I hang up the phone and go to the rest room. Not in the mood to speak to anyone or use my mind to think, I lock the door to the rest room and stand in front of the mirror and start staring at it.
I see myself staring at myself. Not a clue what I am supposed to be doing, but definitely not this, I turn the tap water running. Now the sound of the running water makes me pretend I am near a waterfall where it is peaceful and no one to bother. Suddenly,
“Knock knock”,
“Huh! Wait a minute.” I shout. I look at my watch which reads 11:25 am. I wet my face with the running water and then dry it with a napkin in my pocket. Lost in my own meaningless state of mind, I unlock the door and start walking towards my cubicle and start pretending to look productive. I lose track of time, my phone rings again,
“Hello”
“Sir, Mr. Akram is still waiting. Do you want him to come at some other time?” The Secretary inquires.
“Holy Cow! Ah no, please ask him to wait for another 2 minutes. Actually, I was in the middle of an assignment given by the boss which he needs today in the evening so I did not want to suspend it till later. I will be there in 2 minutes.” I lied to her.
I hang up the phone again and look at my watch which reads 11:48 am.
I approach towards the conference hall where Mr. Akram is expecting me.
“Hello! Mr. Akram. Sorry to keep you waiting. My previous commitment held me up for sometime. I apologize that you had to wait.” I stated right away.
“No, that is perfectly alright! I am sure you are a busy person. Anyhow thank you for seeing me today.” Mr. Akram replied.
I ask the Secretary to send in tea for us and then I ask Mr. Akram to start giving his presentation on his product. I dim the lights as he has a power point presentation to give.
He starts informing all the good things about his product and how it will benefit us with its cost and durability etc. While he is in the middle of his presentation, I listen very closely and then all of a sudden my mind starts to doze off. Now, I am just pseudo-listening him as I am sitting idle in the chair staring at the slides. Absolutely impression less I keep sitting not appreciating his hard work and efforts he had put in for the presentation. Suddenly, it comes to me again that I have a midterm coming in 5 days. Now, in a rush I start making an ad hoc schedule in my mind which I confirm to myself that I must follow. I, not thoughtful of Mr. Akram giving presentation, completely ignore him and start copying off the schedule which I had just thought of.
It takes me 7 to 8 minutes to copy off the ad hoc schedule and by the time I am done I look up and see Mr. Akram standing there, probably, waiting for my comments on his presentation. Unaware of the presentation, I become completely speechless since my presence during his presentation has been just physical - mentally I was never there.
I keep sitting in the chair and quickly thinking of an answer but not showing any impression on my face.
“It was pretty good. Do you want to leave your presentation file with me?”, I ask without having to make any firm thought.
“Yeah sure.” Mr. Akram replies, “But…”
I interrupt him suddenly and swiftly take the floppy disk and walk him outside, without saying a word at all.
I straight go to my cubicle and sit down without giving due regards to Mr. Akram. I just flip his floppy in my drawer and start modifying my schedule to coop between both my work commitment and my MBA pledge. Spending 15 more minutes on it really pay it off.
“Yes I got it!” I, excitedly, claim. “I will call in sick tomorrow (Wednesday), and study all day long. If not enough, I will take an additional day off on Thursday… Hmmm, What the heck, I will just pretend to be sick for 3 days and take my midterms on Saturday and Sunday.”
After giving a firm “go-ahead” on this plan, I suddenly think of the consequences I may have to face at work. I want to think hard as how to make it a smart plan so I do not get caught. Later, I pledge that I must stay here till very late so when I come back on Monday, I do not have a lot of work piled up for me….
After giving it due thoughts, I want to lean back in my chair to relax as I just did some real productive thinking today. With a stress-free smile on my face, I close my eyes as a big burden has been just listed off of my shoulders. While I am still enjoying the stress-free smile with my eyes closed, my mind slowly starts to doze off again. I look at the time, it reads 12:50 pm. Now, my system completely refuses to think. I feel that my upper chamber is full of nothing but crap. My eyes want to close and my body has started to ache and I have this acute headache now. In short, my entire body has an in-house capability of unleashing any kind of weakness and sickness unto itself.
I look at the watch again; it reads 12:53 pm. Jeez! What is wrong with my watch. I quickly move it ahead to 1:05 pm so I can leave the office for an hr. I quickly get up but suddenly,
Ring ring, my phone rings.
“No” I whisper. “Should I pick it up.”
Somehow, I get the power of refusing to pick up the phone and go straight out the door.
I go to the parking lot and sit in the car. The heat is enough to melt my skin. I start sweating and agitating; quickly I rotate the air-conditioning knob 90 degrees clockwise to dry the sweat on me and put my mind and soul at ease.
Without thinking I just turn on the ignition key and leave the parking lot. Now I am on the road not knowing where exactly to go. All of a sudden, with the cool breeze of air splashing on my face from the air-conditioning ventilator I start feeling fresh – well spanking new fresh. Everything seems to start look good. I hit the radio. I get “Lose Yourself by Eminem.” “Oh yeah! What’s up my dawg.” I just yell out.
Now, nothing seems to be worrying me about the job I just left 5 minutes ago, or the uncertainties about the midterms I am taking next week. I feel like the king of the road cruising around driving between the lanes not worrying about getting citations or stopping at the red lights.
“The salsa, the music, the moment
You better never let it go
One chance do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime….”
I start lip-syncing the song.
I feel I am full of joy, life and energy. Nothing can stop me from feeling happy. I look at myself in the rear-view mirror and I see myself in it. Smilingly and winking at myself as I am feeling out of this world. The whole road is on my disposal and I am gearing up the engine whenever I like. From first gear to the second, the sound of the 1600 CC engine car, the sound of the tires screeching. I am driving at 70 KM/HR. when I hit the third gear. The engine sounds even better. I see a Honda Civic driver want to race me and he kicks the gas to move ahead. Not bothered by this, I change the lane to avoid him and change the radio station. This time I get Naz.
“I know I can,
Be what I want to be
If I work hard at it
I will be where I want to be.”
Life is good. Well, Not LG’s good, but even better. I hit the fourth gear and take the car over a 110Km/Hr. and there is no stopping me. In the end, I take it up as high as the fifth gear. Now I am cruising at 155Km/Hr. I roll down the window, and take my hand out to feel the power in the wind. Enjoying every moment, I look at the digits built-in my stereo. It reads 2:35 pm.
“Holy shit, I am late!” Well, my lunch break ended 35 minutes ago and I am almost 40 minutes away from the city. Suddenly, I get the red light lit near my speedometer to show me that I am running out of gas.
“Oh just perfect! I hate my life. Nothing seems good in it. What has the nature against me? Why does not He want me to be happy? Blah blah blah…” I keep complaining to God.
I quickly take a U-turn so I can get closest to the city even if I run out of gas. Barely, after 10 Km, my car refuses to move and comes to a complete stop after vomiting out a few hiccups. I yell, AHHHHHH, to the fullest of my lungs and I hit on the steering wheel a few times, but in vein. I search for my cell phone to call for help, but things can worse when I realize I never picked up the phone from my office desk. Well, this brings me back in the an-hour ago quandary situation as I am in the middle of nowhere and nothings seems to be working at all.
“I am lost. I am deserted.” I start yelling, furiously. I walk out of the car and lock it only to start walking to hitchhike or something. Now, everything is coming back to me – my office commitments, my mid-term preparation and I am hungry as well. I am just walking now only to be picked up to take me to the city.
“Damn! This is torture. I am really not in the mood to be in this position.” I state while walking at barely a mile per hour. The heat is penetrating into my skin to boil my blood and to melt my skin. Being in this no man’s land, I look at the asphalt highway which seems to be the longest highway in the country and is never ending. But I have got to walk and I am walking...
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The Wholly Book of Exodus is humorous adult literature that features adult language, situations and content. It is the companion book of Jay Dubya's The Wholly Book of Genesis that satires the entire first book of the Bible.
The Wholly Book
