Melancholy Blues

 

(The above picture is of the Old Mill in Thomaston, Georgia.  I grew up on this old  mill village in the 40s and 50s. My dad and mom raised four of six children during this time and yes I flew my bike past the gates of this factory many times on my way to and from East Thomaston Grammar School. Lots of good memories associated with this time. The picture was painted by Thomastonian,  Terry Crook, a local artist).

                         MELANCHOLY BLUE

Many things remind me of the blues such as songs, places, things, the past, holidays, and many of these deal with losses.  A song written by Kris Kristofferson called Sunday Morning Coming Down is one of three songs that will be mentioned in this article that cuts to the core of the blues as they involve my life. 

I grew up on a cotton mill village in Thomaston, Georgia in the 40s and 50s primarily the 50s.  This town then had a population of about 28,000.  My father worked in the mill and mother was a true homemaker.  She stayed home, cooked, sewed clothes for us children, kept house and basically took care of 4 kids as the two others were grown and married at that time.  This was a poor town but the people were proud, God fearing and most did an outstanding job of raising their children.

Sundays in those days was a real quiet day.  No stores were open period.  As the old saying goes, the town rolled up the sidewalks.   This was when I first realized that there was something sad about this day which I am sure other people felt in a lot of small towns across this land. 

 Church was the only activity and we usually went to both services.  But I can distinctly remember the depressed feeling that this day always brought.

 I had a sister at that time that lived in Macon with her child and on occasion they will visit us coming on Saturday and leaving to go back on Sunday evening.  I must have been in the 2nd or 3rd grade at that time and my nephew was 5 years younger.  Well, I would get very distraught when they left to go home.  Part of that, I am sure had to do with the loneliness that I felt when they left.

 Kristofferson’s song really reminds me of those days. His song of course came much later than my life as a kid on the mill village.  Some of the phrases in this song talks about “crossing that empty street” and also “hearing somewhere far away a lonely bell ringing”...  And it goes on to say “there’s something in a Sunday that makes a body feel alone” and the part that says “and caught the Sunday smell of someone frying chicken” really reminded me of my mother.  It seems we always had fried chicken in those days on Sunday and she was often seen frying it before church.

Fast forward to today.  Now I’ve found that I still have these blues on Sunday.  Also, as I think about it, there are other times when these same blues call.  They can be felt especially at Christmas as I reminisce the holidays of the past and people that used to share these happy times with me such as mom, dad, brother, sister and other extended family and friends.  More recent past Christmases and the people who have moved in and out of my life are also a part of this.

The blues also knocked on my door on those cloudy, overcast, cold, and rainy days and of course, I let them in.  Again the first time I remember feeling sad on these days was as a child.

One thing that all of these times seem to have in common is my childhood.   When Paul Simon's song My Little Town came out some years back, I could really identify with it. His song could have been almost written about the cotton mill town I grew up in.  Some of the words say coming home after school, flying my bike past the gates of the factories.  Other words say I never meant nothing, I was just my father’s son.  In one part he mentions the colors in the rainbow being mostly black and he goes on to say it isn't that the colors aren’t there, it’s just the imagination they lack. 

Well, it was never imigination that I lacked.  I always seemed to have an over abundance of it.  Some people that have grown up poor seem to not have the ability to dream. I never have been able to understand why some people are missing that.  It is so important for any kind of success it seems. 

I do think some of the depressed  feelings that I felt at the time were due to lack of stimulation that I must say was not caused by the town but by my circumstances.

   I think it is naturally sad to grow up.  And even after we are grown, we continue to lose parts of ourselves every day and if we are able to get in touch with those feelings, they will make us sad. 

There is of course clinical depression as well as a mood disorder that resembles some of what is being discussed in this article.  But both of these usually calls for more pronounced disturbance in moods and will cause the person to have a hard time exhibiting pleasure in activities in general. In fact many times, people withdraw into themselves and lose interest in participating in any kind of activities and in more serious cases are immoblized and even hospitalized.  Sometimes this depression is situational or it can be induced even by medications.  Melancholy Blues need not be confused with this. 

 
I was visiting my little town a couple of weeks ago, when I stopped to talk to a former classmate that I was in the eighth grade with.  As I stood there interestingly enough on a Sunday evening in his back yard, we reminisced about former classmates.  This sharing of memories together was joyful but at the same time it was sad.  There is a part of discussing the past that is naturally sad and I believe it is because we are mourning about youth. The past represents time that is gone from our lives. This is part of the melancholy. 

 A few days ago, I accidentally ran across a song by Trisha Yearwood on her CD called Inside Out.  The song is called Melancholy Blue which I have used as the title of this article.  It was written by Tom Douglas and Harlan Howard.  The beginning lines start out by saying ever since I lost you baby, I’ve been here and there looking for some piece of mind.  As I listened to the song for the first time a few weeks ago, I though she was probably talking about losing her boyfriend or perhaps husband because of a split up of some kind but the end startled me. It was obvious she was talking about a huge loss in her life.  Then I realized that her boyfriend or whoever has died and she goes back to visit that little country church and lay some flowers on his grave.  Her grief is so strongly heard  by the inflection in her voice as she sings this song.  Of course, there were other places that she had visited in the middle of the song that she mentioned when traveling around either to try and forget his memory or to relive it.  

This was such a haunting song that really got me in touch with losses in my own life as many have.  In closing, I realize that as we continue through life, we are all longing and or looking for something.  It might be piece of mind as the song says. It might involve someone that has died and left us and it could be someone that we just can't get over or feel we can't live without or perhaps it is the memories of times that we have learned to idealize.

  The blues are imbedded in whatever it is we are looking for. It's strange, but I enjoy them.  I am always ready to open the door when they knock. And usually, I will let them sit and visit with me and oh yes I do enjoy them singing for me.

 Gary Moore had a great song popular in 1991 called Still Got The Blues For You Baby.  If one day you would just like to conjure up some blues, this song could help you do that.  Especially if your desire to do so involves a lost love.