Reality—The quality or state of being actual or true ; that which exists objectively; the totality of all things possessing actuality, existence, or essence.

     The trouble with reality is that….

 ·              The above definition doesn’t really define it.

 ·              It is in perpetual motion.

 ·              It keeps changing.

 ·              Everyone’s perception of it is different.

 ·              It’s way beyond our grasp.

 ·              Communication about it is impossible.

 ·              It’s either this or that, or both or neither or something   else or not.

     Never-the-less, we have a problem to solve: Successful living requires us to deal with reality the best way we can. So, what do we do?  Consider following these reasonable suggestions:

1. I have a secret suspicion that might be worth considering. All the most important and useful reality that ever was or ever will be is stored densely in your unconscious mind. Figure a way to start transferring that knowledge and wisdom to your conscious mind. You can start by remembering what you have forgotten, as nothing is really new, just old and retold. For starters, every world religion has an original reality book that is worth reading.
   
2. Realize that things are not always as they appear. One example is that all you think you know may not always be so. Why is this? Because your brain is designed for convenience and efficiently, not correctness and completeness. Your brain is reducing all the complex, infinite realities you can’t grasp into the artificial simplicities you can understand. Plus what you see isn’t nearly as important as where you are looking from; but unfortunately your eyes can only see 180 degrees at any given time so you can’t even see that part of reality.
   
3. Understand that there are several different reality zones—the physical (senses), psychological (mind), artificial (words, drugs) and spiritual (ultimate truth) worlds—and it is smart to know where you are speaking from and where the person you are speaking to is standing. You can’t interact very successfully from different reality zones; it only frustrates you and the other person.
   
4. We use two processes of trying to communicate our perception of reality to others: (a) words that can’t possibly represent even small realities correctly or completely, and (b) non-verbal stuff which can create bizarre new realities altogether, just making things worse. You have to be on a constant vigil and committed to continuous improvement in order to be able to choose the right words and say them in such a way you can’t be misunderstood. You have a much better chance if you consider your own reality to be uncertain and tentative and communicate that uncertainty and tentativeness with honesty and sensitivity and without judgment, superiority or control. Of course none of this works without the other person actually listening to understand.
   
5. It is important to find a reliable way to continually affirm and validate your current reality; otherwise you may just be perpetuating unnecessary failure with wrong information and wasting valuable time. Find a reasonable and trustworthy standard against which you can compare your present version of reality, such as getting education, reading books, aligning with a higher authority, picking a mentor, dialoguing with close friends or other available ways that suit your fancy. Be picky though—make sure the standard is the best it can be.
   
6. A good sign is the degree to which your realities consistently get positive results and you the acknowledgement you get for those results; a bad sign is no results and no acknowledgment.
   
7. Another test of a reality is in its inclusiveness; there seems to be something inherently wrong with the whole process of excluding. Part of the problem-solving process is taking things apart; it is putting them back together again, though, that gets the results and feels right.
   
8. The more reality you have, the more you are convinced you have the right reality. Be very careful of pride as it can deceive you into being convinced you have the only correct, complete picture when you may have the most incorrect, incomplete one. Humility is so much more likable and a 5% insecurity doubt is healthily human.
   
9. While you are growing your own reality, hang around other people who have similar realities, as that seems to make things a little easier. When you are up to the challenge, seek out people who have way different realities from you, get past your defensiveness and then listen and learn. The growing will be painful, but worth it.
   
10. The closer you get to knowing and understanding your own reality, the better the chance you have in trying to change it for the better in case you don’t like it. But don’t expect to be able to do that overnight; it took considerable time to get to where you are and may take an equal time to get somewhere else, especially if it is in the opposite direction.