THE MYTH OF THE MAGIC PILL: WHY SELF-HELP DOESN’T WORK
By
Bill Cottringer


I have been practicing positive psychology for over four decades, way before it became fashionable, and I have to tell you one of the greatest frauds perpetrated on psychologically-minded consumers is the “Myth of the Magic Pill.” On a personal note, I have had my mind, heart and spirit probed, played with and expanded exponentially by the best of the best from Big Sur to Mt. Fujiyama to the Australian outback. If Self-help was actually deliverable, I’d have dissolved my soul into Nirvana decades ago with supreme enlightenment. But guess what? I am still here!

What is the myth of the magic pill? That there is one! Why does self-help not work? Because it is all based on the magic pill, that doesn’t exist as believed. Now hold on a second. This is not a lifetime of optimism gone sour because of harsh reality or a sinister desire for fame as a creator of contention; there is always hope, when we become more aware of reality—especially imagined reality where it all starts.

I will not apologize for saying this, but there is no magic pill and do we really even want one? I think not. We do not really want a quick fix to a lifelong problem that we know is not momentary. Free lunches are never quite as satisfying as ones we prepare or pay for. Besides that, some of us are not even sure what the solution to this lifelong problem even feels or looks like. What is it we really want? I guess it is some intangible sense that verifies we have found the buried treasure—a reasonable degree of happiness, meaning, success and contentment from knowing we are living a life that matters in making a difference and getting somewhere. If we are dying we want to be surviving; if we are surviving we want to be thriving; and if we are thriving, we want to inspire others to join us.

Actually there really is a simple magic pill, but unfortunately there is nothing simple or magic about it. If such a pill existed it would be called optimism. But it is wrapped tightly in a package of a classic case of catch-22. You have to have an optimistic outlook bank to anticipate and affect positive outcomes in the things you do, in order to get them; however you have to first get them consistently to become optimistic. Now if there was a drug that could dissolve this catch-22 that would be a magic pill! But there is no such drug and never will be because this is all part of finding the purpose of the lives we contracted for, all on our own, in exchange for being here. We just forgot that little contractual detail, maybe just to make it more fun and surprising.

Simply put but not simply achieved, is the main purpose of life—to become more optimistic in growing into our unlimited potential in thinking, feeling, doing and being better, moment by moment, day by day, and year by year. If we are waiting on a specific outcome to enjoy the benefits from being and becoming more optimistic, then we will be stuck in the inhibiting realism we have created or worse yet, paralyzed by the pessimism that holds us hostage as victims. Doom and gloom either way.

We all do want to find our buried treasure, but some of us have bigger shovels (some spoons and some bulldozers!) and some of us dig a little more vigorously or take more naps. And a few of us have figured out how to get others to do our digging for us. But the potential is there for anyone and everyone, any way and any how.

Maybe a good starting point is to self-examine our own worst habit—believing in the reality of instant need gratification. Heck, eight graders can’t forgo two marshmallows for 30 seconds to triple their booty! We want a self-help magic pill to deliver happiness and success instantly from lips to limbs, without any digestion time. Now or earlier.

Here is some more information about the magic pill myth. We have this illusion that we are free to pursue happiness in this life. That is pure slavery because happiness and all the rest of the buried treasure come about as a result of doing the right things to get these things. And that is where optimism comes in—realizing that whatever we are doing right now, even failing miserably—is positioning ourselves to fall forward into a world of success dreams and buried treasures. Of course the falling can be speeded up slightly when we finally figure out the few right things to do apart from all the others that hypnotize us—to be useful, compassionate, loving and honorable in serving others in the capacity of our choice according to our talents. The choice here is what freedom to pursue happiness is all about.

There is a magic pill and self-help can work. But these things require immense patience. I have been working on these things for nearly six decades now and I figure I have about four more to go before I get to the buried treasure. But in the meantime, there are a lot of worthwhile littler treasures to enjoy while I figure out how to be more optimistic—like working, playing, loving, listening, learning, eating, shopping, reading, sleeping and dreaming.


William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA. He is author of several books including You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too and The Bow-Wow Secrets. Bill can be reached for comments at 425-454-5011 or bcottringer.pssp.net