FEELING GOOD
By
Bill Cottringer


Why is it important to feel good? Is it realistic to see life as a 50-50 proposition between feeling good and feeling bad? What is realistic? Do we have to feel bad? What is possible? What do these questions have to do with anything? Everything as you will soon see.

There is overwhelming research evidence ‘proving’ that people who have a strong base of positive, good feelings are much more successful in everything they do—showing more competency in their work, being more physically fit and healthier, having better relationships, being happier, achieving more wealth, living longer, etc.—than average people. Just the opposite occurs when people have a bigger base of negative, bad feelings—divorce, unemployment, health problems, debt, depression and even death.

Now if we just take the recent movie and book, The Secret, at face value, we can easily come under the spell that success, good feelings and all that those things bring, are all unlimited, for everyone and easy as pie to get. All you have to do is think and act in alignment with The Law of Attraction.” Or as the genie promises, “Your wish is my command.”

However, this so-called “Secret” is just a part of the total positive psychology transformational movement reaching peak today, which as switched primary focus from ‘attacking’ pathology and failure and what is bad and wrong to learning success secrets and what is good and right. Subsequently, the ideas and their understanding and application are incomplete and just now evolving for ordinary people like you and me.

The real secret behind the secret is in understanding how people think, feel and act they way they do and learning to untangle and straighten out the thinking-feeling-acting pretzel when things aren’t getting the desirable results. This is really what psychology has been all about from the beginning, regardless of the focus point.

So, why it is very important for you to learn how to feel good and avoid feeling bad? Simply so that you can do whatever you are doing to the best of your ability and increase chances of success and the good feelings that such accomplishments bring. In turn, the reinforcement those positive feelings contribute themselves to continuing a positive spiral upwards and onwards in living a thriving life. Of course the same reasoning applies to breaking up a negative vicious circle of negative feelings and failure.

Feeling good or bad first comes from the things that happen to us in life—getting or not getting a promotion, having arguments with or getting along well with people, getting sick or being healthy, not having enough money or buying what we like, etc. Then these initial feelings get amplified by the thoughts we have in interpreting these things that happen to us. Sort of like, “This thing is good, I deserved it, I enjoy it and it will continue and that is all good” vs. “this thing is bad, I didn’t deserve it, I don’t like it and it will last forever and that is bad.”

Such thoughts and mental explanations make you feel either better or worse after impact of the event itself, at a second level. On the negative side of the equation, a cycle of feeling bad and thinking negative thoughts about feeling bad, makes you feel really bad and then you start feeling bad about that and not being able to do anything about it all. You end up being held hostage in a vicious circle of feeling really, really bad, without the energy to change anything. It becomes hopeless.

This is true because the very same process rules positive feelings and the positive reinforcement they bring, especially in magnifying the power of positive expectations and the success they bring. That is part of secret beyond The Secret. The other part follows.

I have learned many fancy theories of emotions and human behavior, but my life experience tells me that it is simpler and more useful just to divide emotions into two fundamental categories—good, positive ones (love, security, achievement, agreement, joy, peace of mind, etc.) and bad negative ones (fear, anger, insecurity, jealousy, discomfort, pain, etc.).

From that basic division you can see the main purpose of good, positive feelings as being a sign you are on the right track with what you are thinking, feeling and doing and should continue that way. On the contrary bad, negative feelings are probably soft warning signs that you may need to learn something you are doing “wrong” in your thinking and acting—not as punishment, but as a guide back to the right path.

Learning something positive from the sign of bad, painful, negative feelings is the best way to avoid feeling bad and increasing your good feelings to open the door to achieving success to the best of your ability, and reinforcing that to keep on happening.

Everyone gains from that important individual transformational attitude change to more positive feelings because it is collective for us all; and there is no rule on how many of those positive feelings and success you can have. Once you catch yourself not doing it, that is the biggest step you can make to get back on the right path to your own inner peace, genuine success and authentic happiness.

In the meantime there are several things you can do that are instant mood changers for the better. And these are usually free or low cost:

• Listening to music or looking at art.
• Being in nature.
• Emotional or physical affection.
• Good two-way conversations.
• Plying with pets.
• Reading a good book.
• Psychical exercise.
• Cooking.
• Creative hobbies.
• Eating great tasting food.
• Playing with little children.
• Looking at your scrap book of good memories.
• Re-arranging your furniture.



William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA. He is also author of several books including, Passwords To The Prosperity Zone, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too, The Bow-Wow Secrets, and Do What Matters Most. Bill can be reached for comments and questions at (425) 454-5011 or bcottringer.pssp.net