Why Santa Claus is Real
By an Elf, Rudolf & Some Jingle Bells
1. Mr. and Mrs. Claus invented computers before the 1700’s and always upgraded their software and mobile apps each year ahead of Microsoft in order to keep up with the growing present delivery schedule. How else could they succeed with today’s mayhem and speed (see below)?
2. They really do reside at the North Pole. That is because it is very cold there and that slows down all the clocks considerably, especially on December 25th, so Santa and his flying reindeer can get more widespread Christmas joy shared everywhere. And, haven’t you noticed that time slows down when you are having fun, to make it last longer?
3. Nobody could possibly invent such a clever name as Santa Claus, the vast variety of name versions around the globe, or the fellow of jolly old St. Nick, with his white hair and beard, big belly from so much milk and cookies, and bright red and white outfit, not to mention his well-aged, gorgeous and quite likeable wife.
4. Boys and girls who slip in their good behavior, now and then, and not necessarily due to their ill will, still get plenty of presents just like everyone else. Santa is very forgiving, unlike some people he knows and kindly won’t say.
5. All the toy stores have to have someone to promote their new toys at a special time of the year, or they couldn’t exist. Who else could possibly do this better than Santa Claus himself (with the help of his loving and able spouse of course)?
6. Where do all the milk and cookies go to—into an imaginary black hole in the universe? If there weren’t a hungry and thirsty Santa to visit all the households, what would the milk and cookie factories do for work? That would also adversely affect the trucking industry big time.
7. There are too many books about Santa Claus to be based on an imaginary myth and so he has to be real with so many books about him. Why else would there be so many books about Santa? What other books would Barnes & Noble and Amazon sell during Christmas time?
8. The splendid Christmas gift wrapping paper that shows up everywhere just didn’t create itself spontaneously, it was very carefully and thoughtfully designed by Mrs. Claus at her package paper design shop at 1 place, North Pole. Anything else is an unauthorized knockoff.
9. Who else could possibly be a better ambassador delivering the true Christmas spirit for the baby in the manger, other than our Santa Claus? That is a no-brainer. Therefor Santa Claus is real!
10. Legally, logically and practically speaking with maximum common sense, there is no alternative hypothesis proving that Santa Clause is just an imaginary myth that doesn’t exist in real time. Therefor he does! Merry Christmas!
