By

Bill Cottringer

     We originally invented words to represent the objects which we wanted to talk about in our own heads or to someone else with our mouths. This novel language invention came about because we could no longer carry these objects round, like the sun, moon, rivers, oceans, the stars and other bulky or heavy things.

    We should beware that Words often determine our realities, sometimes in unintended ways—the words we use, the way we define them, the meanings the speaker/writer and the hearer/reader ascribe to them—In short a wide variety of both denotative and connotative meanings and interpretations that have built a Tower of Babble. Today miscommunication is the norm.

    Psychological terms are very important because they may determine a person’s state of mind, which may affect everything round them. So, in the interest of tearing down this Tower of Babble we have all created, let’s re-define some key psychological terms in the hopes of communicating about these things that affect our state of mind, in a more accurate manner for better results. Here is an A to Z list of psychological terms to reconsider redefining:

1.     Abnormal. This word refers to any thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, perceptions, or behaviors, that appear to stray from the Bell-curve normal, which is abnormal itself. So, the lesson here is to not be the one goose out of formation from the rest of the flock, which is off course. Being normally abnormal is the safest bet, but we haven’t been able to define that, without a starting or straying point. Being reasonably Okay is probably good enough.

2.     Behavior. Behavior is any and all of the actions we take when we feel strongly about a thought or belief we have previously identified and embraced in our thinking minds.  The thoughts and feelings that contributed to a particular behavior cannot be changed by any means other than new experience, which is very hard to orchestrate in a therapy session.

3.     Conflict. A conflict is two opposing realities about what is true or good, being different or opposite in our own and others’ dualistic minds. There are only three different categories of conflicts in life and they are: Us vs. life, us vs. them, and us vs. ourselves. There are only few practical ways out of any conflict and ironically, they are all C-words —creativity, compromise, collaboration, and cooperation. The one other C-word that makes conflicts worse is competition. Warning: once we resolve one conflict or problem, that resolution seems to create another one, usually ornerier.

4.     Depression. Depression is a vicious circle to the no-where zone, between thoughts, feelings and behaviors. This confusing state of mind is about the frustration felt from the painful experience of not knowing what conflict or problem needs solving or not being able to effectively solve a known conflict. Actually the depression kicks in when we start feeling angry about not being able to get undepressed—which is really a natural process that we have to work hard to maintain—and then fearing it might continue indefinitely and worrying about that into utter hopelessness, thus blocking all access points to escape the vicious circle.

5.     Emotion. This is a difficult term to explain. Generally, it is a categorization of vague physiological sensations or feelings that we have previously rationally defined, assuming we can talk about emotions and feelings with the rational brain, which we can’t because the emotional part of the brain “talks” to us in a completely different language. It is the feelings we have about the thoughts and beliefs we have accumulated, which prompts behavior. And the only way to change behavior is to change the nebulous feelings that protect it, with which we can’t seem to communicate very well using the wrong language.  

6.     Fear. This can be either real, such as having a shotgun rammed down our throat by an escaped mental patient or prison inmate, or an imaginary anticipation of a bad future event occurring, like the end of the world, or worse yet, depression lingering forever.

7.     Hope. The hope from the happiness that comes from solving our conflicts is something we all pursue with all our might as an inalienable right, unless we are depressed. Hopelessness is the common enemy to mankind, which we should be using religion, science, politics, media, Department of Defense, Educational institutions and all our other institutions combined, to eliminate. Without hope, for a better future her on earth or in a possible afterlife, there is no reason to live anything but a life of quiet desperation.

8.     Intuition. Intuition is direct knowing, maybe from somewhere in between our head, heart, and soul. Of course, intuitions can never be verified by either science or religion, because they are more of an instinct that we sense, rather than a rational insight we can fully understand and describe in words. The safest bet here is to track the results of which way to go with an intuitive feeling, so you know better the next time a similar situation occurs. Somehow though, they are always different.

9.     Johari Window. This is a psychological strategy originally invented to help mental patients escape from irrational thinking by learning what they needed to know to do that. But it is better adapted to the general public to help us improve our rational, uninformed thoughts so we can feel strongly about the more knowledgeable and informed ones we believe to be true because they help us be more in control and get affirmed by our like-value communities. There are four quadrants to proceed though in this system—from what we all know, to what I know and you don’t,  to what you know and I don’t,  and to what we all don’t know.

10.  Knowledge. This is something we have to know in order to succeed in school, work, relationships and life in general. The only trouble it is, it really isn’t what you know that counts, but how you feel about what you think you know and how you use those feelings to act. Personally, I think the informational aspects of knowledge aren’t that useful compared to the wisdom parts. Wisdom is the gleaning of the most important principles about how people and things work. These are handy shortcuts useful in applying to a verity of situations. By the way, those who know are amazed; those who know they know are amazing.

11.  Learning. Learning is a complicated process where relatively permanent changes in behavior occur as a result of experiences, which change the feelings that our thoughts, ideas, attitudes and beliefs are either worth maintaining and expanding or need discarding. The difficulty is that you can’t really acquire new learning, unless part of it attaches to what you already know, so in a sense it might be self-serving, in a brain that is really not hard-wired for the truth.

12.  Motivation. This amazing feature of behavior is probably when thoughts and feelings finally start agreeing and communicating with each other to provide the match that lights the fire of action. Motivation can be either extrinsic or intrinsic. External motivation is usually what we go for, at least until we realize internal motivation is stronger and lasts linger to achieve greater success. The rule of three applies here: Some people need to be calmed down, some jacked up an others left alone.

13.  Narcissism. This is a blanket we throw over self-centered ego maniacs because we don’t want to acknowledge that all of us have a bit of this abnormal disease. There is no way we can’t, unless we find a way to successfully deny ownership of everything we do. The one bad thing about people diagnosed with this terribly annoying disorder, is the lack of empathy. Empathy is the only valid component of a True-North moral compass to keep us wandering off in the wrong direction or getting stuck in a dead end with no place to turn around.

14.  Optimism. This is an attitude that embraces our fears and hopes, leaning in the direction of our hopes for all things working out for the best in the long run. But again, our degree of optimism or pessimism is determined from our experiences and the feelings about those experiences. The smartest people seem to adopt an attitude of realistic optimism, in always having a plan B in their back pocket just in case Murphy’s law turns out to be true r than not.

15.  Pessimism.  Like happiness being the absence of unhappiness, pessimism is thinking, feeling and behaving in reaction to an absence of optimistic hope. However, the smart gamblers know that you usually get what you expect, so why not expect the best? The obstacle is our experience and feelings telling us the opposite.

16.  Quick. This is a very dangerous value that can easily result in unwanted consequences. Saying anything more about this is also dangerous, so it is best left alone to slow down on its own.

17.  Reality. Wow here we go with the big one. Reality is anything we believe to be true from our thinking, perceptions, beliefs, and experiences. But it is how strongly we believe our realities to be true , and how strongly we feel about that certainty, which determines how loudly or softly we communicate and act in defense of our realities with another person who is not thinking, feeling or experiencing the same reality. The usual result—uproar.

18.  Science. Science is just a different religious reality, as a set of rituals and truths, that are believed to be proven rationally beyond any reasonable doubt. The trouble is, there is still a leap of faith in the strength of our belief and trust in the scientific source of these now proven facts of life. Knowing what we know about feelings, just because we can rationally prove something to be true , doesn’t completely make it so. The gap is still there.

19.  Theory. This is knowledge we think we know from our thinking, experiences, or intuitions, which can explain everything and so we want to prove it to the rest of the word as definitely being true because it is so urgent and important. But again, we can only prove it rationally and that is not what counts. If we can’t capture people’s feelings about the truth of our theory which we have proven rationally, then all is mostly for naught, except in our own minds.

20.  Unconscious. The unconscious part of the mind is likely where all the feelings and intuitions are stored, waiting to be understood and thought into action, which is impossible, because there is no way for the rational brain to give those directions to irrational feelings. Regardless, self-development, if that is even a valid goal, only happens when we figure out a way to shift some of the unconscious stuff on one side of the brain to the other conscious side. But that may take purging some of the useless conscious content taking up too much room.

21.  Volition. Often seen as free will, this faculty is currently caught up in hot debates as to whether it really exists or not. Some say it is usurped by either life’s pre-determined choices and outcome possibilities, or the massive social conditioning that holds everyone hostage without seeing any escape route. Others say if you become more mindful of what you are doing or not doing right now in the present moment, then you can begin to see what you can control now—your reactions to things that happen—so that you can eventually begin to control the things that are about to happen. Which side of the fence you are on with this debate, depends on how strongly you feel about your belief in the values of your community side.

22.  Will. Pardon my willful laziness but you will have to refer to volition above for this definition. If you are socially conditioned you will do that but if you have free will, you might not.

23.  Xenophobia. Since I couldn’t find a funny Z-word in psychology to redefine, I’ll use this not-so funny phobia that we see running rampant in our world today. Originally this word was invented to be a label for the irrational and often pathological fear of strangers in the us-vs. them conflict. Now it seems to apply to all the differences that cause the divide in our country, with the hopeful optimists hoping that we can unite with creativity, compromise, collaboration and cooperation. But that will depend upon the experiences the other side will experience with their own hopes and fears being affirmed or denied.

24.  Yin and Yang. This is the amusing ping-pong, see-saw way of all of life—male-female, up-down, true -false, good-bad, pleasurable-painful, real-unreal, etc. that is perceived as movement between our world of opposites, which turn out to be just different sides to a counterfeit coin. Everything is either this or that, so you can tell the difference. Without this Yin and Yang phenomenon, life would be very boring and probably even unlivable.  

25.  Zen. Zen is nothing you can either talk or write about because it refers to a protected, unspeakable truth we can only know by approximation through meditation. Of course, this state of being can be rationally defined as blending in with the rest of the things in the planet, especially whatever you are doing right now, to experience the power of the universe’s oneness. Naturally, this doesn’t mean anything, until you have experienced entry into this zone and can then think about it, at least enough to get a superficial understanding.