Let's face it…as much as we all enjoy having sex, sometimes the spark to get the fire going is gone. Life is full of distractions and filled with stress that can frequently take away the desire to have sex. One major problem is that both people aren't affected at the same time so in any given relationship you can have one partner wanting it and the other not interested in doing it at all. So what do you do? How do you spice things up? Well first you need to keep in mind that the tips in this article are intended for those in a healthy, committed relationship whether you're married or not.
A diminished sex life usually happens in a relationship that has lasted years and unlike during the early part of the relationship where the two of you couldn't get enough sex, now it's no longer a priority…if you get it, fine…if not, oh well. You've seen each others naked bodies hundreds of times…you made love hundreds of times…same old, same old…right? There's no mystery left. You've tried every position known to mankind so the excitement just isn't there…your sex life is missing its luster…take the “er” off the word and that's what's really missing…the LUST. Sex can't be exciting unless there's some lust involved.
The first step in improving your sex life is OPEN COMMUNICATION. Tell each other what's on your mind - good or bad. Don't argue about it…TALK about it in a civilized manner. Both of you should offer some new ideas and whatever you do…don't criticize or judge…it's a brainstorming session to get your sex life back on track.
One of the first ideas many couples put on the table is a threesome to spice things up because it's adding something new to the equation. The problem is that the mere suggestion of a threesome could spark a very heated argument because either way, someone's feelings are going to be hurt. If the suggestion is made, try not to get angry or think that the one who suggested it doesn't love you anymore or is searching to have an affair…don't jump to conclusions…it was just an idea. If a threesome is something that the two of you feel would hurt your relationship then drop it and move on.
Another way to improve your sex life is to spend more time doing other activities together. Quite often couples will do things separately…having a night out once a week with friends is healthy but spending more time with them than your partner can lead to suspicion and a breakdown in trust…which leads to arguing…which leads to even LESS sex. My point is that by sharing in more activities together and spending more time together having fun, the two of you will start looking at each other again with that lust in your eye. Having fun makes you happy…when you're happy you're excited…when you're excited you become horny…and when you're horny…well…you want to have sex.
Be spontaneous and adventurous. There's nothing worse than having a sex schedule or routine and whatever you do…DON'T MARK IT ON THE CALENDAR. How absurd is that? Be adventurous by taking sex out of the bedroom and doing it anywhere else. The kitchen, living room, and bathroom don't count either. I'm talking about outside somewhere…in the snow, during a thunderstorm, in the woods, in an elevator, on a train, plane, or in your car, on the beach, in a cornfield, on your roof…open up your mind and be creative. Spontaneity can also improve your sex life. Do it when the moment strikes wherever you are because if you wait until you get home the moment might be gone. You could also find out what fantasies they have and surprise them by fulfilling it when they get home from work…when they get home…”POOF”…they're in their fantasy.
The next way to improve your sex life is to include some sexual enhancements. This includes lingerie, vibrators, dildos, beads, butt plugs, creams, gels, lubricants, ice cubes, ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, honey…whatever it takes to get your motor running….experiment with each other. Make a visit to your local “adult” store and shop together looking at all the things that modern technology has come up with to make your sex life more pleasurable. If you want to bring X-rated magazines and videos into the mix…pick something both of you will enjoy. Since you already know the basic sexual needs of your partner it's time to find new ways to please them...it may be something as simple as licking their feet or as outrageous as wrestling in bathtub full of strawberry jello, but the point is you've had sex a hundred thousand times and you know what it feels like, so it's time for you and your partner to move up the ladder of sexual evolution.
There are many ways to improve your sex life but in the end the only one who can really do it…is you…and you have to want to improve it. It's not going to change for the better unless you put some work and effort into it, so c'mon…what are you waiting for? Get out there and bring the lust back into your life…it's time to have some fun…it's time to have some SEXXX!
