Ladies - and Gentlemen - "lend me your ears!"

With any luck at all, not ONE of the FABULOUS FIVE-THIRTY-FIVE will ever read this, so maybe I won't wind up on some surreptuous "_hit list!"

If any of you ever bother to take the time to send an email to your elected representatives, at any level, you know what (if any) kind of response you receive back, right? An automated BS reply! Never any real follow-up, unless on a very rare occasion some lower "flunky" actually PRETENDS to care, and bless you with a reply.

On the other hand, what if there was only ONE honest, non-biased Reporter, or Editor, or Newsperson out there - who would actually PUBLISH this diatribe?

WOW! I might find myself on OPRAH! SOMEDAY ---
when someone FOUND me -- somewhere in GUANTANAMO!!!

SCARY, HUH?

AN OPEN LETTER TO CONGRESS

Copyright: March 10, 2007
Tom Hyland



Well, Gals and Guys, for a long time now I have been writing really nasty things about Congress, and calling them even nastier names, like: ARSE-HOLES, and GREEDY SOB’s. And many times have accused these highly educated, ultra-intellectual, truly dedicated people of suffering from what I call “Ostrich Syndrome” – having their auspicious ‘heads’ embedded up deeply into their impacted rectums.

Well now, maybe I’ve been just a tad unfair, so I would like to apologize – okay? Just recently, it dawned on me that perhaps the old adage: “You get more flies with honey than vinegar” might be apropos. So, in an effort to give all 535 of them the “benefit of the doubt” I shall now attempt to state some concerns and issues in a more positive vein (like constructive criticism), rather than all my prior negativity (name-calling, and bashing) – okay?

Gee, this is going to be difficult, to say the least; and at best, I’ll probably unintentionally omit a few major dilemmas that our country is facing. Nevertheless, we will furthermore attempt to include some superfluous, gobble-de-gook-type language that they are all quite familiar with, based on their historically recorded, hitherto and heretofore-aforementioned tendencies of perusing multi-confusing, legalese jargon – okay? Why? You may ask. So that this prestigious body of completely honorable, and purely service-driven men and women will feel comfortable, and not be ill-at-ease – okay?

First of all, let us address the first and foremost topic of greatest interest to the American people at large – THE IRAQ WAR.

Those millions upon millions, upon millions of us, who suffered through watching the Viet Nam War being dragged out daily on national television, for several years, are totally disgusted with seeing and hearing this REPEAT PERFORMANCE daily, nightly, perennially – over and over, and over again!

SO – what possible positive suggestion could a poor - RETIRED SENIOR CITIZEN, living solely on a paltry monthly SOCIAL SECURITY ‘BENEFIT’ CHECK, who can’t afford the RAPING COSTS OF: exorbitant GASOLINE prices, exorbitant PROPANE HEATING FUEL COSTS, exorbitant BGE CORPORATE, AVARICE-RIDDEN COSTS IN ORDER TO LINE THE POCKETS OF INVESTORS AND EXECUTIVES, MEDICARE – Parts B, C, D, SUPPLEMENTAL, and PRESCRIPTION DRUG BOONDOGGLE EXPENSES – et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, on and on, and on, ad infinitum –

OOPS! Sorry, I had a ‘senior moment’ and digressed. Where were we? OH! A SUGGESTION was about to be proposed.

We The People -- are sick and tired of OUR young men and women being killed, maimed, and/or saddled with psychological life-changing mental problems, and YOU – the supposed REPRESENTATIVES OF THE PEOPLE, RARELY SEND OFF YOUR CHILDREN AS SACRIFICIAL LAMBS! HOW CONVENIENT! Do you think we are too stupid to not notice?

1. How about simply making a DECISION? Like: “GET THE HELL OUT!” – PERIOD! DONE DEAL! NO MORE BULLSHIT AND WHO-STRUCK-JOHN, SEMI-QUASI-FAUX EXPLANATIONS AND/OR FINGER-POINTING! FINITO! THE END!

2. STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH! WOW! Is that an OXYMORON or what? All the investigations, studies, seminars, caucuses, debates, hearings – whatever… in the world will not change the pure, unadulterated, simple, common-sense FACTS – IT IS NOW A RELIGIOUS WAR, A HOLY WAR, A CIVIL WAR, A LOST CAUSE – THAT – “all the King’s horses and all the King’s men can not put HUMPTY-DUMPTY back together again!” So, “GET THE HELL OUT!”

3. Just like the warring tribes of Africa, and the warring tribes of American Indians, and the warring hordes of Mongols, and Huns, and the Saxons and Normans, and Palestinians and Israelis, and the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s, the Capulets and Montagues, and every other past historical generational confrontations – THEY THRIVED ON HATRED! Most, if not all, of these mortal feuds started over something so small that it was forgotten what had even started them!


4. SO – “GET THE HELL OUT!” we all know that, deep down within our ‘heart of hearts’ and our innermost souls that, there is absolutely no collusion on our government’s part to protect the interests of AMERICAN MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATIONS, RIGHT?

Let the ignorant fanatical, radical elements over there BLOW UP THEIR OWN OIL WELLS, and fight over them, and the money, and the power, and the affluence – HELL – LET THEM KEEP THEIR FRIGGIN’ OIL – LET THEM DRINK THEIR FREAKIN’ OIL – and if, in the future sometime, they ever get organized, and civilized, and obtain any social culture whatsoever - THEN AND ONLY THEN, WILL WE PURCHASE ANY OF IT – AT A HUGE DISCOUNT!!!

ENOUGH SAID!

Next, how about these little ‘gems’ as suggestions?

Use some of the ANNUAL WASTED BILLIONS on this ‘LOST CAUSE’ TO:

A. PAY FOR MEDICAL CARE FOR THE RETURNING MILITARY!

B. HELP MILITARY FAMILIES GET RE-FINANCED AND RE-STARTED!

C. SEND TROOPS AND EQUIPMENT TO GUARD MEXICAN BORDER!

D. SET UP AND PAY FOR A NATIONAL HEALTH INSURANCE ACT AND PROGRAM!

E. HELP EASE THE FINANCIAL BURDENS OF SENIOR CITIZENS, IN THEIR SO-CALLED “GOLDEN YEARS”!

F. HELP PAY FOR COLLEGE EDUCATIONS FOR AMERICA’S YOUTH – SO THEY AND THEIR FAMILIES AREN’T PAYING OFF GOVERNMENT ‘STUDENT LOANS’ FOR THE REST OF THEIR NATURAL-BORN LIVES!

G. TOTALLY RE-VAMP THE ENTIRE SYSTEM OF JUSTICE, LAW ENFORCEMENT, AND EMERGENCY MEDICAL SERVICE SYSTEMS! In case you have forgotten – “Charity begins at HOME!”

H. BITE THE BULLET –AND ACTUALLY FIND CURES FOR CANCER, AIDS, AND OTHER LEADING KILLERS! AND WHILE YOU ARE AT IT – YOU MIGHT AS WELL DISBAND THE ENTIRE LYING FDA (FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION) AGENCY! THEY HAVE BEEN ALLOWING, AND ACTUALLY PROMOTING THE SALES OF POISONS, SO CORPORATIONS CAN ‘LINE THEIR POCKETS’ BY KILLING INNOCENT AMERICAN CITIZENS! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO PUT THE CROOKS IN JAIL, AT LEAST FIRE THEM ALL!

N.B. (Nota Bene) we are talking about the HEAD HONCHOS throughout this discourse – you know, the so-called LEADERS, the ones who supposedly have the BEST INTERESTS OF WE, THE PEOPLE -- AT HEART!

I. RE-VAMP THE ENTIRE IRS CODE AND SYSTEM, WHICH ALLOWS CORPORATIONS TO GET ‘OFF THE HOOK’ BY NOT PAYING THEIR FAIR SHARE! LIKEWISE, FOR THE STINKING, FILTHY, TAX LOOPHOLE, UNPAYING RICH! ELIMINATE OFFSHORE ACCOUNT TAX EVASIONS, AS WELL AS ‘HIDING MONEY’ IN THE ISLANDS, AND/OR SWISS BANK ACCOUNTS!

J. PROMOTE AND ACTUALLY ESTABLISH HONEST SYTEMS FOR DEVELOPING ‘ALTERNATE ENERGY’ SOURCES! STOP THE STUPIDITY OF ALLOWING FOREIGN CORPORATIONS TO CONTINUOUSLY “RAID THE ICEBOX” AND STEAL OFF OUR AMERICAN AUTOMOBILE INDUSTRY – AS WELL AS OUR COMPUTER INFORMATION AND TECHNOLOGY “DOWN-SIZING” BY TRANSFERRING JOBS OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

K. ELIMINATE THE FELONIOUS SECRET, PRIVATE RETIREMENT SYSTEM OF CONGRESS! MERGE ALL THOSE FUNDS INTO THE REST OF US POOR SUCKERS’ SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM -- GET ‘BACK IN THE BOAT’ – STAND UP AND BE COUNTED AS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN, WITH THE EXACT SAME RIGHTS AND PRIVILEGES – NO MORE, NO LESS! GRAB AN OAR! HELP ROW THE DAMNED BOAT! STOP BEING AN ALBATROSS AROUND OUR COLLECTIVE NECKS!


“My Fellow Americans…” … AND WHETHER YOU WANT TO ADMIT IT OR NOT, YOU WANT TO SAY THAT YOU ARE AMERICANS, BUT RECEIVE PREFERENTIAL, ABOVE-THE-LAW TREATMENT! THAT, MY DEAR SENATORS, AND REPRESENTATIVES, IS FOUL – AND YOU KNOW IT!

Somehow, sometime, somewhere, in the past two hundred years, for some UNGODLY reason, the LAWYERS, and/or ATTORNIES in America have totally taken over everything! There is a preponderance of YOU, in every facet of our society and economy, MAKING THE RULES, BENDING THE RULES TO YOUR OWN BENEFIT, BREAKING THE RULES (ETHICS, BRIBES, KICKBACKS, CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS, WHATEVER), AND THEN, TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THE INTESTINAL FORTITUDE TO “POLICE YOUR OWN” WHEN THEY GET CAUGHT WITH THEIR “HANDS IN THE COOKIE-JAR”! HOW OBSCENE IS THAT?

Almost no one respects any of you anymore! Many, if not, most, either DETEST or even HATE your entire so-called “profession!” If each and every individual one of you members of CONGRESS had any CONSCIENCE at all, you would at least admit to yourselves privately, if not publicly, that most of what I have committed to paper (so to speak) here, IS TRUE! ES VERDAD, for any of you who might not even COMPRENDE INGLES! THAT’S another real PISSER, that the “SILENT MAJORITY” has had SHOVED DOWN THEIR THROATS!

Well now, as the sun slowly sinks into the vast western skies, and I try to finalize this OPEN LETTER TO CONGRESS, one large part of me, the CHRISTIAN, pauses for a moment, and thinks that maybe I was too open, or a tad too forceful, or maybe even got side-tracked into NEGATIVES again?

But guess what? Another part of me, the HONORABLY DISCHARGED AMERICAN PATRIOT SAYS: “This may not be the Russian Army, but their rather glib-tongued phrase, “TOUGH-GIE SHIT-SKIE” MIGHT BE VERY APROPOS!

“IF THE SHOE FITS – WEAR IT!”

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN, AND HAVE PREVIOUSLY MARCHED IN MANY AN “I AM AN AMERICAN DAY PARADE” – BUT QUITE HONESTLY I AM A-S-H-A-M-E-D OF THE COLLECTIVE BEHAVIOR OF OUR MAJOR GOVERNMENT ‘REPRESENTATIVES’!

YOU WANT RESPECT? GET ONBOARD AND ACT LIKE A TRUE AMERICAN! DO YOUR FAIR SHARE OF ‘PULLING THE LOAD’!

RETURN TO THOSE THRILLING DAYS OF YESTERYEAR – HONESTY! INTEGRITY! DIGNITY! FAIRNESS! TRUTH! JUSTICE! LOVE OF FREEDOM AND ‘THE AMERICAN WAY’!

Smokey the Bear used to say:
“Only YOU can prevent Forest Fires!”

I would be so bold as to state a paraphrase:

“ONLY YOU CAN DO THE HONEST JOB THAT YOUR FELLOW AMERICANS ELECTED YOU TO DO!”

As Jean Luc Picard was apt to say: “ MAKE IT SO!”


Consider the following quotation, written in late 1776 by Thomas Paine, pamphleteer and soldier, in his series called The Crisis:


"These are the times that try men's souls: the summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it NOW, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman."



PAX TECUM !!! Tom Hyland


FOOTNOTE:

535 out of 300,000,000 = ONLY .017833 PERCENT !!!

YOU CALL THAT REPRESENTATION?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?