FIRE AND BRIMSTONE - THAT'S THE TICKET!
After all, it is HALLOWEEN you know!
Why can't Witches have Babies?
'Cause their Husbands - Warlocks - have
Hollow Weens! Yuk-Yuk-Yuk!
SINNERS
© - Tom Hyland -10-31-08
Face it, most Preachers at one time, or another, all say the same thing -
“We are ALL Sinners!”
Let us examine this a little further.
Just what Are the Seven DEADLY Sins?
1. LUST - Desiring People or Things Sexually.
2. ENVY - Desiring the Possessions of Another, without Earning them.
3. GREED - Desiring the Acquisition of More, More, MORE!
4. SLOTH - Laziness, Lack of Action or Movement, Lackadaisical!
5. PRIDE - Egomania, Regarding Oneself as Better than Others. "MY STUFF DON'T STINK!'
6. WRATH - Anger, Ire, Desirous of Lashing Out to Injure Someone or Something.
7. GLUTTONY - Wantonness, Eating and Drinking to Excess. Kind of like Lipstick on a PIG!
Next, can we find any Combination of these Seven Elements of SIN in One Package? Let us see.
Show me a LAWYER, who is:
Lustful, Envious, Greedy, Slothful, Prideful, Wrathful, and Gluttonous - and I’ll show you a PROSTITUTE!
Show me a POLITICIAN, who is:
Lustful, Envious, Greedy, Slothful, Prideful, Wrathful, and Gluttonous - and I’ll show you a PROSTITUTE!
OOPS! Most Politicians Are, in fact, Lawyers - Aren’t They?
PROSTITUTE - Somebody who receives MONEY in return for Sexual Intercourse or Other SEX Acts.
OR - Somebody who uses a Skill or Ability in a Way that is considered Unworthy, usually for Financial Gain!
DUH! Like I said:
Sinners - Lawyers - Politicians - Prostitutes!
Are they not Synonymous?
Is this not also Synchronous?
In a Pinch - it’s a Cinch!
A Politician is Oft’times also a GRINCH!
The Grinch who STOLE: - Christmas - The Alaskan Bridge to Nowhere - The 700 Billion Bail-Out - The Federal Reserve - Fanny Mae - Freddie Mack - The Stock Market - The Money Market - The Banks - The Real Estate Market - JOBS - The Pension and Retirement Plans - The Supreme Court - CONGRESS - The Right of Habeas Corpus - The Presidential Campaign - The Election - The Entire Friggin’ Economy!
Go ahead, I Double-Dare you - just name One of the Above that did NOT involve a - Lawyer - Politician - Prostitute - SLUT!
Now there’s a Thought -
Why not Rename Congress to - “SLUTS R’ US!” ?
SINNERS? Yep, you Betcha!
Well now, that’s THEM - What about US?
What about the WASP’s? - White Anglo-Saxon Protestants! Where are all their PROTESTS?
Are they merely using ESP?
How about the WASC’s? White Anglo-Saxon Christians! Did they Turn the Other Cheek TOO MUCH? Sore Hineys maybe?
What about the HRC’s? Holy Roman Catholics!
Still Waitin’ for The Pope to Populate the Populace?
How about the AABM’s? Afro-American Black Muslims! Are they Still Bowing to the East, or Too Busy Knittin’ Rugs?
Then, there’s the Good Ole Boys, the IDLTAISM’s? -
I Dunno Let Me Think About It Some More - The AGNOSTICS! Still Flippin’ Coins?
Heads I Win - Tails You Lose!
And Last, but by no means Least, the TING’s?
There Is No God - The ATHEISTS!
Are their Heads still buried in the Sand?
Or still Up their Rectums?
Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!
“Bless me Father, for I have SINNED - through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault!”
“Let he Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone!”
“Where are thy Accusers?
Go thy way, and Sin No More!”
BOY - is THAT - One Tough Command!
Like I said at the onset - SINNERS ALL!
Gee, Even ME!
I LUST for - Chantilly Lace!
I ENVY - Warren Buffet!
I GREED - For - Money - Dollars - Green - Gold - Diamonds, Even!
I SLOTH - Only Work a Measly 3 Days a week, now that I’m Supposedly RETIRED!
I PRIDE - Myself on all these Wondrous Pearls of Wisdom I Write!
I WRATH - Rant and Rave about all those Poor, Misplaced Rat-Bastard Politicians!
I GLUTTONY - Ingest Mucho Expensive Hot-Dogs and Beans, and Drink Expensive Flavored, Bottled Waters now!
YEP! Count ‘Em - ALL SEVEN - So I DO Qualify!
© TKH
OH - P.S. - Guess What I am Being Tonight for Halloween?
BEEZLEBUB
SATAN
THE DEVIL
SEE PIC ABOVE !
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