* WARNING LABEL *

If you are Faint of Heart, lack a Melancholy Nature, or have been Diagnosed as 'normal' or reasonably SANE - DO NOT READ THIS!

Otherwise - Read On - MacDuff!

T T T T T - Book 2 - Part 1
* Tom’s Tall Tales Told Truthfully *
© - Tom Hyland - 02-21-09


- Prologue -


Okay, okay, OK - After compiling all the other ‘crapola’ together into a book of Hodge-Podge Humdingers, I thought I was done! But, the more I read here at AD, the more I have to open my Big Mouth and WRITE!

So, a couple of weeks have now elapsed, and any of those little ‘Pearls of Wisdom’ which were not captured for posterity - may be gone forever, RIGHT? So Be It!

But, weak-minded ignoramus that I am, the URGE came back! I just can’t RESIST any longer - so here begins the continuing SAGA of more of said ‘crapola’ - to be captured in the Annals of History, for the benefit of all the Anal Retentive Readers out there in cyberspace to gloss over in immense proportions, Ad Nauseum - ALL TWO OF THEM!

Huh? Yeah, yeah - I have a base of avid fans so large that a thimble might could be filled - perhaps?

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RE: Randall Davis Barfield’s Blog - “Widows & Widowers” -


RANDY - topical topic from tropical Florida!

Now, let me see if I got this story straight:

TOBACCO - about 300 years ago, the entrepreneur Colonists grew this stuff that the Indians taught them about - shipped it back home to Ye Merry Olde England, where Profiteers boosted up the price on the Pounds Sterling, after rolling and processing the leaves of said stuff, and made whole bunches of money, right?

Then, about 200 years ago, this valuable commodity had spread from Virginia to: North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, Mississippi, Kentucky, Maryland, Delaware, and just about any warm climate where it would grow nicely, right?

Then, about 100 years ago, circa 1909, a growing, raging industry was lining the pockets of a handful of TOBACCO MAGNATES with Silver - not necessarily Pounds Sterling any more, but valuable nevertheless!

Shortly thereafter, we had: World War I, The Roaring Twenties, “All That JAZZ”, Bootlegging, Organized Crime, The Untouchables, The Stock Market Crash, The Great Depression, The New Deal, The Rise And Fall of The Third Reich, World War II, Nazism, Socialism, Communism, Fascism, The Atomic Bomb, The Birth of The FRIGGIN’ CORPORATION, The Cold War, The Korean ‘Conflict’, The U-2 Incident, Rock N’ Roll, The Beatniks, The Peaceniks, The Peace Corps, The Cuban Crisis, The Viet Nam War, The Fall of The Berlin Wall, The Rise And Fall of DISCO, The Rise And Fall of HEAVY METAL And HARD ROCK, The Break-Up of U.S.S.R., The Roaring NINETIES, DESERT STORM, The Travesty of * 9-11 *, The Invasion of Iraq, The Semi-Quasi-Faux-Pas Invasion of Afghanistan, The Continuing Mire of the Iraqi War, The Rise And Fall of HOWDY DOWDY LOOK-A-LIKE, The BAIL-OUTS of: CEO’s, Banks, Wall Street Crooks, Mortgage Investment Bankers, and Ultimately, The Election of The First Black President of The United States of America!

WHEW! What a Mouthful!

* The Names of Persons, Places, and Things have been changed to Protect the Holy Innocents - of which, they are FEW and FAR BETWEEN *

AND - through all of this, somehow - the COFFERS of the Tobacco Companies STILL managed to reap HUGE PROFITS (only about Skatey-Eight Ga-Zillion Dollars Worth) from the COFFINS of SMOKERS - even AFTER the so-called “Great Tobacco Settlement” - sound about right?

SO - the BACKBONE of America - The Middle Income Class - through its immense capacity for Apathy and Paucity, which is only superceded by its Stupidity and Asininity, is now outraged that a handful of Ambulance-Chasing GREEDY LAWYERS might conceivably now rake in a few insignificant Millions? PSHAW! You say?

HELL - THAT is EXACTLY what CONGRESS has been doing TO US for over 60 YEARS NOW!

Que Le Difference’ ???

PAL - Peace - Abundance - Love … Tom.


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SEE ? I DONE TOLE YA I HAD TWO READERS!

2/21/2009
Jnia Fowler

You've said it. There is no difference. Same old crapola. Excellent write. Hugs, J'nia

J’NIA - well thank you, Dear!

What’s the difference between a Dead Lawyer and a Dead Skunk?

NONE - Both STINK and Nobody Misses Them!

? ? ? Tom.


2/21/2009
Mr. Ed

The True Backbone of America is almost always relegated to The Anals of History. Keep On, Keepin On, My Friend.


ED - Well Pee-Wee - you thought I wouldn’t CATCH that, didn’t you - you ole Polish Devil?

Purposely and skillfully and intentionally only using ONE N in Anals - to indicate or suggest that WE, the Middle Class, are really the ANAL RETENTIVES of History!

In the Final ANALysis, perhaps that process is really the Study OF ANUSES?

Or should it be ANUSSES, or ANUSI ???

P-A-L … Tom.

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