Cultures? OR - the LACK thereof?

If a Rooster and a Half - laid an Egg and a Half - smack dab on the Peak of a Roof - Which Side would they Roll down - East, or West?

Yeah, yeah - I know, you SLEPT during MATH, right?

Well - Gurlz n' Ghoulz - the ANSWER IS ...

DRUM ROLL ...

PARADIDDLE ... PARADIDDLE ...

ROOSTERS DON'T LAY EGGS !!!

3 H - P 4

© - Tom Hyland - 07-03-09 to 07-12-09


RE: My - 3 H - P 3 -

7/3/2009
Georg Mateos

Why is that if we say "a dog with a bone" nobody bats an eye,
but if we say "a man with a bone" everybody goes huuu! haaa!
????????????

That's some food for starving brains.

Georg


DEAR MENOPAUSAL GEORGE -

Why would you bring up such a 'delicate' issue on the Eve of our Nation's Birthday?

Anyway, the answer is simple -

VENUSIANS ACCUSE men of always 'thinking' with their little 'heads' - so they would 'hoo-haa' naturally - and ...

MARTIANS KNOW that they always 'think' with their little 'heads' so they just automatically 'hoo-haa' ... ‘cause they are best at it anyway!

AND ... your query brings to mind a 'FRACTURED' NURSERY RHYME which I personally 'coined' many years ago, when I was but a young 'pup' -

"Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard,
to get her poor dog a bone -
but, when she bent over -
it was too much for Rover -
so he GAVE her a BONE of his OWN!"

Copyright - Circa 1956 or so! Yeah, I was a SICK 'puppy!'

Now, I 'm just a SICKO Tom KAT ...

=========================================================

RE: My - Y ? -

4/2009
Georg Mateos

Y is the fork of the Devil's apprentices, you should know, you are one of them! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDvard, the funny Ole Cousin

OLE GEORG - BY GEORGE - YOU’VE GOT IT!

THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT! TK.


7/3/2009
Ed Matlack

Yes, I do, feel like a yo-yo that is...where do you get all this stuff...Have a Happy 4th, eat your fill, as I know for sure you will drink more than your fair share...;-) Ed

ED .... YO! ... YOU ... YOU - YO-YO!

I only polished off 1 bottle of Irish Cream & 1 bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Cream Sherry & a maybe a half dozen Beers - in 2 days/nites ...

2 Cook-outs Fri/Sat & a Heritage Festival today ...

AND it was my fair share - ‘cause I paid for it ... TK




7/3/2009
Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

Terrific graphic and poem, TomKat; you ROCK!! BRAVO!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

Happy Fourth of July to you; may it be full of fun, festivities, food, and fireworks! And above all, stay SAFE!!

KAREN - THANKS DOLL!

YEP - all 4 of them thar F’s - Plus Another! TK.



7/3/2009
Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Wowsers, this is a good'un, Tom. Love the graphic. :)

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

In answer to your question, Y? Y N O T?!? :)


KARLA - THANKS DARLIN’ ... BACK ATCHA! TK.

7/3/2009
D Johnson

So many questions and I haven't finished my first cup of coffee. Thenk Gawd, it's decaf. And no, I don't remember Frankie Lyman, but I remember my gramma ravin about em,

This is just way too much stuff to think about so early in the morning... I may have to call my shrink.

Cheers,
Dan

DAN - thanks for visit!

If yer GRANNIE knew ‘em - yew must be a young WHIPPERSNAPPER!

Sleinte’ ... TOM.

=========================================================

RE: Matlack’s - Authors Den BBQ for 4th -


Reviewed by Tom Hyland
7/5/2009

OOPS! SORRY JOISEY!

I bought this splendiferous package of boneless Country Ribs, and they looked so good I just had to 'test' them to be certain they would please everyone ...

SO - I made a marinade of lemon juice, dehydrated onion chips, garlic salt, a twist or two/three of fresh peppercorns, with just a smidge of Virgin olve oil, and some Honey/Hickory Barbecue Sauce ...

LET - them all soak for several hours, rotating as required, then ...

WELL - these guys looked so darned good, I had to fire up the ole PROPANE grill (not mine, miss Pat's) - here a flip, there a flip, and then ...

VOILA! they were perfectly properly seared and scorched with just a'touch' of charred edges, and ...

FOUR - of us ... ATE THE WHOLE DARNED BUNCH!

MAYBE NEXT YEAR?

"GOD BLESS DEAD PIG!" ... TomKAT ...

=========================================================



RE: My - Every Day Is Christmas -

7/7/2009
Georg Mateos

You write, "...if you Receive The President..." are you nuts?! not only your grammatical skill are sleeping your political ones as well, you should stop your long visits to Jersey Ed's camper filled with Jamaican "tea"....it shows.

EDvard, yer Ole Cousin

ED Vard - Dear Ole OLD, OLD CUZ -

Never bin 2 Joisey Ed’s - nor eny T - BUTT -

YM SSENIZARC TSUM EMOC YLLARUTAN ... KT ...


7/6/2009
Cindy Tuttle

I just loved this Tom! You put into words such a wonderful faith. Yes. I agree every day is Chritmas!If you have a chance come by and read one of my poems. I think we have some things in common.

With Love,
Cindy

CINDY - Thank you!

You know that old adage - “Don’t judge a book by its cover!”?

I just visited your site and posted a brief review. After scanning your many listings, or titles, I am no way close to you as a Christian.

Once in a while, I do something pretty, or inspirational, but most of my ‘stuff’ is non-sectarian, or non-religious.

Although originally Catholic - Baptized, First Communion, Confirmation, Married - and having spent 16 years as an adult choir-member - I no longer believe in ANY ‘organized’ religions.
I may be considered by some people as being ‘spiritual’ - but I am by no means a staunch Christian. Although there are many reasons, or excuses, for this mental attitude - I try to continue to believe in a “Creator.”

See my - “Our Father Within Us.” Haven’t been to formal ‘confession’ in many many years - but I’ll be the first to admit to being a ‘sinner’!

Bringing Joy to others is still a worthwhile endeavor - for anyone and Everyone!

Peace ... Tom.


7/6/2009
Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Absolutely, Tom, every day is a gift given by God! Beautifully penned inspiration, thank you, a keeper (as are you!). Well done.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

KARLA - THANK YOU DEAR!

Perhaps I do have just a tad of ‘redeeming merit’ that might get me into the ‘Pearly Gates’ someday?

P A L ... Peace - Abundance - Love ... TK.

7/6/2009
Karen Palumbo

Love the photo!!!!! Oh yes, you are so right!! Everyday is Christmas and to be enjoyed in God's gift of life....

Be always safe,
Karen

KAREN - thank you Dear!

Back atcha ... TK.

7/6/2009
Ed Matlack

Well, I may not feel so overjoyed as you, especially since my sleeping schedule is all screwed up, awake at night and sleeping most of the days, but I am still alive too and enjoying life to a degree...Ed

ED - THAT’S THE SPIRIT - BUNKY! TK.



7/6/2009
Joyce Bell

AMEN! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL VIEWPOINT THAT ENCOURAGES US TO LOOK AS EACH NEW DAY AS A 'GIFT' FROM GOD....WITH WHICH I WHOLE HEARTEDLY AGREE. THIS IS A WORK DONE WELL AND YOUR GREAT PHRASES AND IMAGERY BRING A TIMELY MESSAGE. THANKS FOR SHARING AND GOD BLESS YOU. JOYCE


JOYCE - thank you - glad you enjoyed. Tom.


7/6/2009
D Johnson

You were doing fine up to 'reducing my girth' I have to tell you I'm proud of my girth, I've spent years developing it into the fine tuned machine it now represents. [Sic]

Nice write with a powerful message.

Cheers,
Dan

DAN -

May you and your 'girth' live long and prosper! Tom.


7/6/2009
Mr. Ed

To Hear the Chirping of a Bird -
To See Another Magnificent Sunrise -
To Feel the Cleansing of Gargling and Brushing -
To Smell a Hot Cup of Java Brewing -
To Taste the Love of Life Itself -
Aah - That, my Friends is Truly - The Word!

AAH, INDEED - but let that poor little critter out of that glass!

ED - like the Genie in the bottle - this little Kitty will grant you 3 Wishes !

Then he goes free as a bird!

Peace ... TK

=========================================================

RE: My - HOW GULLIBLE ARE WE?

7/8/2009
- - - - - TRASK

While You Never Review My Stuff I Suggest You Read It Before You Wrote (Write Your Stuff) This,i.e. How Are We Gullible!?

Alone Authors Den Is Full Of A D Dummies...

Credit Illuminating Write...

TRASK


TRASK -

thanks for visit -

I did visit your site, did read each section -

Sorry - not my 'cup of tea' ...

guess I'm just another AD DUMMY!

Peace - Tom.


7/7/2009
John Martin

How gullible??? We just elected Obama, the George W of the left.
If we're no gullible, then I guess we just enjoy pain.

JOHN - AMEN BRO - AMEN!

BOTTOM LINE?

TWO-PARTY SYSTEM SUCKS!

ALL PROVEN CROOKS!

NEED A THIRD - INDEPENDENT - GREEN - WHATEVER!

TOM.

Posted by John Martin (author) at 7/8/2009 4:14:06 AM

It would be nice if had a two party system, Tom… we don’t.
We only have a democrat/republic /media party and they are partying hardy with our money and freedom. They’ve got themselves a trillion industry and it’s depression proof. Pay cuts and lay offs in congress or the media?... Ha Ha Ha Ha. We are going to hell in a bucket and they’re the ones lowering the rope. Tea Parties are recommending that everyone change their voter registration to Independant... cut off contributions.

Peace Bro

Hi John Martin:

JOHN - AMEN!

LOVE THAT IDEA - ALL REGISTERED INDEPENDENTS ...

CUT OFF THEIR 'BLOOD SUPPLY' !!! TOM.


7/8/2009
Mr. Ed

The beginning of the BUSH DYNASTY - THIRTY - 30 - YEARS AGO!

Republicans SNOWED US THEN - and RE-SNOWED us again!

What short memories the American Public has!

Ain't our country, Grand??!!


ED - YEP! - Home of ‘CROOKS R US!’

I like Georg’s idea - give it back to the Native Americans!

THEY believe in the Creator -

THEY believe in the sanctity of Nature -

THEY believe in Family Values and Brotherhood -

THEY are the sources of most of the Names of: States - Rivers - Lakes - Mountains - Valleys - Plains - Cities - Counties - Boroughs -

Imagine a Congress and Cabinet formed of members of All the Great American Indian NATIONS ... THE INHERENT PROTECTION OF:

WILDLIFE - LAND - RIVERS - PEOPLES - LIFE IN GENERAL ...

And the Best Part? NO DAMNED LAWYERS!!!

And NO FORKED TONGUES!!!

WAMPUM that is Worth Something!

WIGWAMS that are Safe and Warm and Efficient!

WARS ? Where Only the Tribal Leaders are OUT FRONT LEADING!!!

PEACE - KEMO SABE - PEACE ... Tom.


7/8/2009
Georg Mateos
The United States of Apathy, that should be the new name, best yet, give the country back to the Native American people, they know how to manage a country for thousands of years without making a mess of it, and when the push come to shove...as Custer how his push did.

Georg


GEORG - SEE ABOVE REPLY TO PEEWEE ... TK.

=========================================================


RE: KARLA’S - The Day After The Fourth -

KARLA - another POOH-POOH PARTY?

If you were a Martian, you'd not complain about hands in yer pockets -
ever hear of -

POCKET POOL?

It too could lead to post-ejaculation blues!

SO - how about 364 days of - drum roll ...

da--dum-da-dum-da-dum-dum-dum ...


FOREPLAY !!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY !

SMOOOOCH - TK ...

=========================================================

RE: Matlack’s - What do you have to Fear? -


ED - THIS WAS SWELL -

BUT, NOW PRAY TELL -

WHAT IN THE HELL -

DOES A DEVIL -

HAVE TO FEAR -

BUT HIS OWN ...

SMELL ???


USED DEPENDS ???

"FULL SPEED AHEAD, AND DAMN THE TORPEDOES!"

"FUG 'EM !!!"

"I'M YOUR BOOGEY MAN ..."


TOMKAT ...

=========================================================

RE: MR. ED’S - Veteran Chronicles 178 -


"Veteran Chronicles, Chapter 178"?Show Original Blog


Tom Hyland said...

FIE - ON CONGRESS - THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AT ALL LEVELS -

AND - THE 50 GOVERNORS!??

THE AFFLUENT SIMPLY DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS -??

JUST LIP SERVICE !!!??TOM.

=========================================================

RE: Rufie’s - In JAIL ...


RUFIE - Sorry to hear of your recent woes.

When you are 'sprung' - let Daddy massage your toes.

At your trial - PLEAD THE FIFTH -

No self-incrimination do you wish.


Glad Tyler is doing well -

Hope you both will later do swell!

Tell Daddy Dear not to be so crass -

'Grass' can lead to a 'Horse's Ass ...


For your penance, say five 'Hail Mary's' -

When returning home - NO 'DINGLE-BERRIES!'

To Joisey Ed - this has been a 'BOMB' -

Best Wishes to all - from 'Uncle Tom.'

=========================================================

RE: John V. Martin’s - GAME OVER !

JOHN - AMEN!

Many months before the election, I decided NOT to vote for either party, and I posted pieces advising others to that effect.

I voted for a Black Woman, who represented the Green Party, which had a sensible, and simple platform. She did not do very well in the results, because not enough apathetic 'sheepshit' Americans had sense enough to vote AGAINST the Elephants and Asses !!!

Out of sheer principle, our embedded 2-party system has 'held the reins' much too long.

Put me down as a Promoter for ' KICK THE CAN' !!!

TK...

=========================================================

RE: MY - HISTORY OF MANKIND ... and ‘How Gullible’ -

7/12/2009
Georg Mateos

After reading the above article I wonder why God didn't stopped when He was winning...with brainless monkeys.

Georg

'HOW GULLIBLE ...' posted at 's message board dated 7/8/2009 6:12:36 AM has a new reply.

----------------------------This is the reply: -----------------------
Dear Tom, I believe that if you steal something in America and you are caught the stolen items are to be giving back to its rightful owner. I don't know much about it, but as the Law being changed in anyway? We Sioux wants back what pale-faces called North and South Dakota, Ohio, Illinois and some Canadian Land, can you see to it you Pale-Face con-man? Sioux Chief Wounded Eagle (without Medicare)

DEAR SIOUX CHIEF WOUNDED EAGLE -

AMEN - MY BROTHER!

Saw a study done on Public TV recently, where the CHIMPS did better than HUMAN KIDS - after only 2 or 3 examples watched, THEY were smart enough to SKIP the BS stages, and go right to the final GOAL - just lifted the DOOR and GOT THEIR TREAT!

The little DUM-DUMS continued to perform all the UNNECESSARY STEPS!

OH - re - RED MAN'S REVENGE - I'M ALL FOR IT!

Give them back ALL stolen lands, including the
'HAPPY HUNTING GROUNDS!

PEACE ... Honorary Ornery Blood-Brother -

'FULL OF BULL' ... TK.

=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - The Barrel and the Bench -

PEE-WEE - WELL DONE!

THIRD GENERATION SENTIMENTS ARE QUITE FINE!

P.S. Please tell me that little boy is NOT 'pee-wee-ing in the pool!'

TK...

=========================================================