A slight transition -
from 'negative' CRAP to ...

Positive POOP!

Did you bring some T-T?

Good Poop!

© - Tom Hyland - 5/4/10 to 5/19/10



RE: MR. ED’S - The Saddest of Times -

ED ---

WHERE, OH WHERE ... DID I PUT THAT DAMNED 'MAGIC WAND?'

CEO'S OF PETROLEUM CORPS. - ZAP!
CEO'S OF INVESTMENT HOUSES - ZAP!
CONGRESS - ZAP! ADMINISTRATION - ZAP!
CEO'S OF MAJOR BANKING - ZAP!

CEO'S OF AUTO MANUFACTURING - ZAP!
CEO'S OF INSURANCE CO'S. - ZAP!
CEO'S OF THE PHARMA CO'S. - ZAP!
FAILED VETERANS ADMIN. - ZAP!

SUPREME COURT JUSTICES - ZAP!
ALL ILLEGAL ALIENS - ZAP!
ALL PRISONS AND INMATES - ZAP!
ALL TERRORISTS AND ULTRA-RADICALS - ZAP!

ALL WARMONGERS - ZAP!
ALL LEFT-WING BLEEDING HEART LIBERALS - ZAP!
ALL RIGHT-WING ULTRA-CONSERVATIVES - ZAP!
ALL DRUG-PUSHERS & MULES - ZAP!

ALL FANNIE MAE & FREDDIE MAC CROOKS - ZAP!
FEDERAL RESERVE PRIVATE OWNERS - ZAP!
ALL PORNO KINGS - ZAP!
ALL RAPISTS, ABUSERS, AND PEDOPHILES - ZAP!

ALL OTHER GREEDY RAT-BASTARDS - ZAP!

NOW - THEY ARE JUST QUICKLY,
OFF THE TOP OF HEAD,
AND THE TIP OF MY TONGUE -
FURTHER NE'ER-DO-WELLS COULD BE ADDED LATER,
WITH A LITTLE 'MALICE AFORE THOUGHT!'

YOUR FRIEND (FIEND?) - TOMKAT, THE 'HAPPY ZAPPER!'

DAMN! DO I FEEL BETTER, OR WHAT?

=========================================================

RE: Ed Matlack’s - What a Revoltin’ Development -

JOISEY -

A SIMPLE, NEW, IMPROVED, UPDATED, DOWN-LOADED
VERSION OF -

'THE GOLDEN RULE' - SIC:

"DO UNTO OTHERS ... BEFORE THEY ... DO UNTO YOU!"

UN-WAR ... CUZ TK ...

=========================================================

RE: MR. ED’S - Business As Usual -

PEEWEE -

I NOMINATE Y-O-U TO BE 'THE SECOND NOAH' !!!

START GATHERING THEM ALL - TWO-BY-TWO ...
UP THE RAMP, INTO THE SPACE-SHIP ...
SHADES OF 'THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES!'

OH - YEAH ! DON'T FORGET TO PACK THE 'MAGIC ZAPPER!'

TK.

=========================================================

RE: Regis Auffray’s - Let There Be Light -

REG - aka - Sha'Tara ...

Avatar? Hmmmmm ... methinks you are on the right track - however, would be so bold as to suggest more investigation of BUDDHISM.

Although I have never bothered to search or read about it - just today, on NPR radio, none other than the actor, Richard Gere, was a guest on the Diane Rheem ( sp.? I think) show. As I listened I was totally impressed by this man, and his caring knowledge of both the Dalai Lama, and Buddhism.

According to him, it is NOT a religion, but rather a way of life. 'They' do not believe in any super creator, or 'god' - ergo, they do not 'worship' an entity.

Would suggest you visit the NPR site and listen - then tell me what you think. Like I said, I was really impressed.

Peace - Tom.

Oh - P.S. - about 48 years ago, as a college freshman, I THINK I was taught that -

Existentialism was based on a simple concept -

"I THINK - THEREFORE I EXIST!"

=========================================================

RE: My - Screw The Internet -

5/7/2010
J'nia Fowler

I don't know either but can identify with this. It happened a couple of times. Me thinks it is the connection to the internet. We have wireless and I wonder if something interferes with it sometimes. Yukky poo.
Hugs and empathy, J'nia

5/7/2010
Ed Matlack

Tom, write your poems & articles on your Microsoft word processor, then save them to your documents file, then when you want to post them just copy & paste them to Authors Den or wherever you wish...if you need any assistance, just let me know, though I am sure you know how to do this all yourself...wish we could get together, I miss that big ugly mug of yours...LOL, Ed

5/7/2010
Mr. Ed

Be Very Careful - It's a Conspiracy - You are Being Watched. And I better go, they're tracking me, too.

5/7/2010
Georg Mateos

Neanderthal man never had that problem, he committed everything to stone, it is very difficult to misplace the damn things!

Cuz EDvard


J'NAI - 'things that go bump in the night?'

JOISEY - did you miss the part where I said i was NOT a dummy? That is precisely what I always do - PASTE from my file - but, while I am clicking away on the other 'little' choices - the sucker hangs up, saying - "lack of activity" WHILE I AM TYPING!

'UGLY MUG' is correct - I AM STICKING OUT MY TONGUE RIGHT NOW - AND GIVING YOU 'RASPBERRIES!'

PEEWEE - yeah - probably 'BIG BROTHER!'

or maybe even Poltergeists?

GEORG CUMQUAT - yeah - Rock breaks Scissors -

but, Paper covers Rock, and Scissors cut Paper - it's an endless cycle of re-cyling re-cyled recalcitrant recapitulations!

PEACE TO ALL ... AND TO ALL - A GOOD DAY! TK.


5/6/2010
Tom Hyland

FOOTNOTE -

I STILL HAVE THE COMPLETE DOCUMENT IN WORD FORMAT - I WAS NOT TYPING IT, LIKE SOME DUMMY - ONLY THE SUMMARY NOTES - A POSTSCRIPT - AND WAS ABOUT TO LOCATE A PICTURE -

ZAP - GONE! TWICE!

WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR AUTHORS DEN'S SITE TO SIMPLY S-A-V-E YOUR WORK -
WHATEVER IS ALREADY THERE - IF YOUR CONNECTION IS TERMINATED FOR ANY REASON?

NAW! THAT MIGHT COST A NICKEL - OR TEN CENTS EVEN !!!

=================================================================

RE: My - Home-Grown Terrorists -

5/9/2010
Joseph* OneLight*®

This has been going on for far too long. The Bush administration did absolutely Nothing about it. The Obama administration will attempt to address the immigration issue but will be blocked by the Republicans in the same way they've stood unaminously against every single piece of legislation that is good for the U.S.

JOE - HOW WELL I KNOW! CROOKS IS CROOKS! TK.
5/9/2010
Georg Mateos

No fly list? risk list? suspicious list? Pakistan "holiday" List?...in the old west they hang'em high, why take a chance?
A good enemy is a dead enemy.

Georg

AMEN GEORG - AMEN!

We let ‘them’ in - some attend college, some go to medical school - supposedly to ‘go back home and help their own people - SURE!
Until they get ‘westernized’ and stay!

Some come, and we teach them military stuff, like how to fly Planes,
then we let them go home, sell them Planes and ammunition, and other ‘arms’ - so they can use them later - AGAINST US! Remember Sadam Hussein?

Still others are allowed ‘in’ - they get and hold jobs that Natural Americans could have had, maybe even Veterans, who lost limbs saving ‘their’ countries? They live here, learn all our important stuff, like: maps of cities, buildings, roadways, airports, train depots, time schedules, et cetera - they wait until they ‘get the call’ - MARTYRDOM LOOK OUT!

Remember the movie - “The Manchurian Candidate”?

From The Statue of Liberty: -

“Give me your tired, your poor,?Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,?The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.?Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.?I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

TIME TO CLOSE THE FRIGGIN’ DOOR!

THE GOLDEN GOOSE IS OUT OF EGGS!

Peace - Cuz - Peace - TK.

5/9/2010
John Martin

Well said, Tom. Fireworks…hmmm…Makes ya wonder don’t it?.. Ghee I think I go out buy some explosive devices to bring home to the kids, honey.. Top notch professional explosives experts get killed and injured all of the time… What kind of odds does that give amateurs. When you play with explosive devices more often then not, you’re going lose. No fly list??? Dahhhh.. What about a “Don’t let em on the darn Plane List” instead. Yeah, the insane people we’ve been sending to Washington for the last couple of decades have made everything illegal….. The bad news for good decent people..They don't enforce the laws. The good news for bad low lives…THEY DON'T ENFORCE THE LAWS.....unless of course you happen to be a good decent person. As to those virgins..I'm pretty sure once you get a look at them...you'll know right away why they are virgins...God is Just.

JOHN - Thanks for comments!

When WWII ended, I was only five - as a young lad, and even as a teenager, all of these ‘imported’ products were labeled as - “Made in Occupied Japan.” My Dad always said: “I won’t buy any of that Japanese junk!” our tax dollars rebuilt Japan - decades later, rich people from that country were buying up America - land, buildings, sky-scrapers - Why was it even allowed by our government?

Years later, it was rich Arabs buying up America - and we Let them! Years later, there was a ‘Big Stink’ on the NEWS when the political Dummies found out that foreign companies and countries were buying and controlling strategic areas of our PORT CITIES! HOMELAND SECURITY? DUH!

Somewhere along the line, gas stations started popping up everywhere across our Nation - BP Stations - BRITISH PETROLEUM! In just recent years, other stations that used to be AMOCO -AMERICAN OIL COMPANY started switching over to BP - DID THEY SELL OUT? Why is this allowed? Any chance Congress is being ‘bought off’ by ‘Lobbyists?’ DUH!

LET US RECAP - we stole America from the Indians - now Foreigners are replacing Americans and American Companies - FULL CIRCLE? Sounds about right, huh?

Peace - Tom.


5/8/2010
Mark Lichterman

Good article, Tom. How true ! We're like a bunch chickens with our heads cut off running in circles wringing our hands but doing nothing to stop the flow of Illegal's or to, God forbid, racially profile the bastards that come to our country with only one thing in mind: to kill us and our children. I'm planning on driving to Arizona just to spend some money in that wonderful state. Elections coming up and I'm 100% with you in the voters booth.
Mark

MARK -

Thanks for commenting! If you get a chance, stop back and see my reply to John - might be apropos?

Peace - Tom.

=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - Armageddon Oil -

ED - WELL SAID! DOOMSDAY? Time will tell ...

Consider this - the First Time, the Earth was destroyed by God by FLOOD - there are those that believe that the Second Destruction will be by FIRE.

Many millions, for many decades, have thought it would be by Nuclear War - remember as a kid in school - "Duck and Cover!"?

But, just like in a salad dressing - Oil and Water don't MIX! But, what if so much oil keeps gushing out, that it eventually becomes a SEA OF FIRE? True, that a simple match would go out, if thrown lit into a pail of oil - the ignition point is much higher -

BUT - these so-called 'experts' are purposely trying to 'BURN IT OFF!' DUH!

OXYGEN SUPPLY CUT OFF BY THE OIL - plant and animal life DIE! Noxious black fumes of smoke fill the sky, worsening the CO2 level, and global Warming - Shipping lanes and Oceanic transportation become Crippled ...

Think of this, the entire Archimedes' Principle of Buoyancy is based on Flotation in WATER - NOT OIL!

Will heavily-laden vessels of steel simply SINK?

ARMAGEDDON? "You Bet your BP!" ... TK.

P.S. - Rhetorical Question - WHY did we, the USA, ALLOW a Foreign Corporation, BRITISH PETROLEUM - to DRILL in OUR WATERS in the FIRST PLACE? DUH?

IS AMOCO - AMERICAN OIL COMPANY DEFUNCT? DUH?

=========================================================

RE: MR. ED’S - The Fallacy That Drilling Will Save Us -

ED - PERFECTLY PUT!

I would be so bold as to add another thought - I wrote about it before, many years ago -

MONORAILS - electric trains running Over-head - Amusement Parks have had them for Decades! Japan, and other countries have used them successfully for Decades!

Here, in the East, we have the Baltimore Beltway 695 - about 40 miles South, is the Capital Beltway 495 - various and sundry Interstate Routes and other roads LINK them together. Night and Day, Day in, and Day out, a constant stream of GAS-GUZZLING AUTOMOBILES - going to and fro, ad infinitum ...

I would venture to guess that other major Metropolitan areas all over this Nation have the exact same circumstances.

WHAT IF - one by one, each and every one of these 'Beltways' had a MONORAIL BUILT?

WHERE - OH WHERE - are the Inventors, Engineers, Entrepreneurs, Investors - Philanthropists - who would have the COMMON SENSE - AND - BALLS - TO DO THIS?

I watch many, many Documentaries and Travel-Logues about Europe and Asia and SEE with my own eyes what is not only POSSIBLE - but has already BEEN DONE ELSEWHERE!

CONCLUSION? OUR GOVERNMENT LEADERS - ARE ALL IDIOTS!

TK.

=========================================================

RE: My - EPITAPH -

5/11/2010
Georg Mateos

Your brain needs and enema! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Cuz EDvard

GEORGIE-PORGIE PUMPKIN EATER ...

E-nemas
P-ermeate
I -ntestinal
T-ailbones
A-nd
P-uncture
H-ineyHoles!

ha-ha-ha ... THAT! TK.

=========================================================

RE: My - Granny’s Song -

5/13/2010
Mr. Ed

WOW - Zorbunzo singin Granny's Song - is it on YouTube yet??!!

PEEWEE -

Naw! Maybe someday I’ll take a crack at it tho! TK.

5/13/2010
Georg Mateos

A prancing granny without her nightie?
no wonder the cats go howling! (LOL)

Georg

DEAR DECREPIT OLE CUZ ED-VARK ...

As we used to say, when something was considered ‘nice’ -
or, an attention getter ...

“Now, ain’t that just the Cat’s Meow?”

Young Cuz TK ...

=========================================================

RE: MY - PREZ EMAIL 2 -

Joseph* OneLight*®

corruption, collusion, deception, mis-management, dishonesty, greed -all good descriptive nouns for those in the Oil Business.

5/16/2010
Georg Mateos

Now tell me, what weight more on the scales, a solid golden-calf or a thought of good-sense? Then you gonna get the answer to any question concerning the oil spill, any oil spill.

Georg


5/16/2010
Mr. Ed

Thanks, my friend, although as I'm watching this now play out, my confidence that we will stop this is fading fast. So many of our politicians are already spewing out these words: "Sure, this is a terrible tragedy, but we cannot allow this to stop us from harvesting our own oil -everybody else is doing it."

And I now expect many of their new political campaign slogans to include: "Drill Safe, Baby, But Drill!" And so many gullible American citizens, who somehow still believe that more drilling will bring cheaper gasoline, will believe them. Many even believe that BP will pay for the mess we're in now. Gone to the gas station since the spew began? Gasoline Prices have already gone up - we will pay for this, as we always do, for a very long time.


5/15/2010
John Michael Domino

Amen my Friend!

=========================================================

RE: MR. ED’s - Toxic Soup -

ED - WELL SAID!

Somehow, I think we are screaming into the WIND!

SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS INTO THE ABYSS!

Screaming into the deaf ears of corrupt, crooked politicians who are also DUMB!

Not that they don't speak - because they all speak with FORKED TONGUES!

DUMB - as in STUPID! IDIOTIC! IMBECILIC!

VOTE AGAINST EVERY INCUMBENT IN NOVEMBER !

IF - AMERICA IS STILL HERE IN NOVEMBER !

PEACE - TOM.

=================================================================

RE: Georg Mateos - "Andre Bendavi ben YEHU words of encouragement"

GEORG - WOW! CONGRATS! ENJOY THE LIMELIGHT!

I thought Sausalito was a suburb of San Francisco?

Cuz - TK...

=========================================================

RE: ED MATLACK’S - Thrown Out of Love -

ED -

'TIS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST,
THAN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL ...'

SO - LIGHTEN UP , BUNKY!

REMEMBER THAT OLD SONG -

"IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE -
MAKE AN UGLY WOMAN YOUR WIFE"

I MARRIED A GORGEOUS GAL -
AND IT ONLY LASTED 34 YEARS!

DUH! TK...

=========================================================

RE: My - NYMPHO GRANNY -

5/18/2010
Mr. Ed

Ho, Ho, Ho!! Sounds like you need a Tom-Kat Hideaway. When everything starts gettin to me, I head for the old Ed Cave!


5/18/2010
Georg Mateos

Birds shouldn't go pecking on Viagra...

Cuz EDvard

5/17/2010
Donna Chandler

Cute ............. we all get a bit cranky if our sleep in interupted!

Donna

5/17/2010
Ed Matlack

You are the man from this I can tell...LOL, Ed


5/17/2010
Mary Lacey
Tom,

I loved this! It gave me a laugh, and I can just imagine that old man and his "problems"!

Mary


5/18/2010
pat medlin
cute tho it is...nympho granny reads this....you're troubles are over!

ye be sleepin' with chirpin' birdies...hah

by Tom Hyland (author) at 5/18/2010 3:17:03 PM

PAT ... she's coming over my house any minute, bringing me dinner - maybe I'll wait til AFTER I eat to show her? Oh - yeah, oddly enough, her name is PAT also! Peace - Tom.


Posted by pat medlin (author) at 5/19/2010 4:02:51 AM

Hi Tom Hyland:

oh tom...hizzzterical....safe idea to have dinner first.

maybe even some 'more desert'

or maybe just keep it between you and AD...
a good PAT is hard to find...especially one that will feed you too

hah! it really WAS a fun write to read


Hi pat medlin:

PAT - we had been to a Birthday party Sun. eve - she had 2 stiff drinks - at her house, a 3rd - abed about eleven or so? I worked all day Mon. really draggin' - she was off - so Tues. she went to my trailer to surprise me with lunch - but I wasn't there - Surprise!

I'm normally off on Tues. but was filling in for another driver - so, she brung me a sub for din-din. 'Dessert' I supplied - mixture of cashews with coated M&M pretzels - Yum! Chased by a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup!

No Hanky-Panky - I was too tired! To bed at 1 am ...

Now you know 'The Rest of The Story' as Paul Harvey might say!

Peace - TK.

5/18/2010
Patrick Granfors

Ear plugs or a mouth sock
sounds like your choice
if silence in sleeping
makes you rejoice

I just gave up
dogs bouncing on top of my head
I'll get just enough sleep
Until I am dead.

Patrick

PAT -

Truth be told - I AM MUCH WORSE SNORER !

She was glad she fell asleep FIRST! TK.


=========================================================


RE: J’NIA FOWLER’S - How I Met Your Father -

J'NIA -

AH - IF ONLY I COULD FIND MY MISPLACED MAGIC WAND ...

ZAP ... RAT-BASTARDS ALL - DISPERSED TO 'DARKER PASTURES'!

YOU - MY DEAR - ARE A SUPREME SURVIVOR - WHY?

BECAUSE YOU CAME THROUGH WITH 'FLYING COLORS' -

YOUR 'FLAG' UNFURLED - MAINTAINING, AND GIVING LOVE ...

AND - SHARING - TO HELP, AND ENCOURAGE OTHERS!

PEACE - TOM.

=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - Lessons From A Dog -

PEEWEE -

TATER IS NOT ONLY WISE, BUT ALSO A GOOD 'TRAINER!'

The Freedom to Explore Nature and 'drink it all in' -
The wonderment and excitement of it all -
Are not Canines the Best Teachers of this phenomenon?

"Raindrops keep fallin' on my head ..."

BUT - THEN THERE WAS 'D-O-G'!

Thanks for sharing such beautiful musings! TK.

=========================================================