"To POP or NOT to pop? That is the Question"

NOTE:

While this article was written almost 12 years ago, in 1997,and posted in 2003, when I joined AD - as of Now, 2/22/2010 - the stats say that 1,706 people have 'visited' it - YET - there is only ONE REVIEW! Seem Odd to you?

I just tried to Post a Pic - and keep getting an error message - "Can't Find the Page" - How Come?

Let's see IF this NOTE makes it ...

A Nation of The Pill, by The Pill, for The Pill

By: Thomas K. Hyland, Jr.

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new
nation...." As you are well aware, thus begins Abe Lincoln's famous Gettysburg Address, which was hand written on November 19th, 1863, on the back of an envelope, assumingly as the train clickety-clacked along the rails, heading for that blood-soaked battlefield. As I sit here, in my air-conditioned office, clickety-clacking away on the keyboard of my 2.1 Gigabyte P.C. with my CD-Rom playing "New Wave" soothing music by The Narada Collection, (the first selection is entitled "After the Rain" by Michael Jones), the stark reality of the vast differences in our world today strikes me like a thunderbolt!

What if the "Log-Splitter" had all of these wonderful "tools" of our "state-of-the-art" technology at his disposal? What more might he have been able to accomplish? What would he think of the so-called strides that mankind has made in these past 134 years? Where did we come from?Where are we now? Where will we be in the future? Let us take a few moments now to ponder these momentous changes.

As I sat on my back porch, earlier this morning, sipping my coffee, taking my handful of
dietary supplements, and hoping against hope that I wouldn't choke on some of those really-big suckers, while attempting to do a daily crossword puzzle, it hit me like a ton of bricks ...we have somehow progressed to be a nation of "Pill-Poppers!" The habit is now so easily and deeply ingrained within us, that we do so without any forethought. It is a mindless ritual that defies understanding. We nonchalantly "pop" and sip, "pop" and sip...please note however, that those who are really proficient at this daily chore can actually eliminate the "sip" part, and just swallow the pills dryly, with no liquid lubricant whatsoever! Not me, I would gag, or choke to death!

The "Ever-lovin' Pill" comes in so many sizes and shapes, colors and coatings, fashions and functions, that it is mind-boggling. We have a myriad of uses for this panacea of mankind (and womankind, as well as child-kind), that runs the gamut from: dietary supplement to diarrhea control, cold remedies to allergy relief, advanced fiber and nutrient supplements to memory and concentration enhancers, natural herbs and spices to manmade chemicals and additives, from organic to inorganic, pain killers (aspirin, acetaminophen, ibuprofin, darvon)...the unending list goes on...and on...and on...ad infinitum! Oh, lest I be remiss, let us not forget THE PILL itself, good old "birth control," along with its side effects ... remember the not-so-distant Thalidomide results!

Vitamins, boy, talk about "alphabet soup"... we have at our disposal, the following, just to name a few, there's: A, B, B-6, B-12, B-29 (that was a joke...it was a World War II "Bomber"), B-50, B-150 complex, C, (what happened to poor D?), E...that's just four letters out of twenty-six, so we still have plenty more room for growth and expansion in the future. The shelves in the "drug" stores, and supermarkets, as well as "convenience" stores are overflowing with everything imaginable. In fact, just recently, we were having lunch in a quaint little town in Shrewsbury, Pennsylvania, and the place mats themselves were advertisements for a line of products from bees! Yes, bees . . . there's royal jelly (a natural rejuvenator), propolis (a powerful natural antibiotic), bee pollen (a complete food), and last but not least, raw honey (more than a sugar). Needless to say, the prices for these little wonders were not cheap, and for fear of infringing on anyone's copyrights or patents, I am doing my best trying to avoid "name" brands herein. Which brings me to another point, besides all those well-known large manufacturers, and pharmaceutical companies, there is usually good old "Brand-X," or the generic versions of just about everything, at our beck and call, also.

Herbs and spices, and metals (yes, metals)...now here is an area where I must plead
total ignorance. While I shall be celebrating my fifty-seventh birth anniversary in just eighteen days, I was amazed at the number, volume, and complexity of the products now available. Some of them are virtually household words, like: garlic, licorice, dill weed, tarragon, zinc (the metal, not the thing with spigots), magnesium, copper (not the penny, with Abe on it), and more, more, more!

Then there are others, which one may have difficulty pronouncing, let alone understanding or even swallowing, like: echinacea, gold seal root, and others I can't remember how to spell. One label I read, said, "Vitamin E is an important antioxidant that stabilizes cell membranes and tissues from damage by free radicals." Good Lord, what is an antioxidant in the first place? What is a free radical, as opposed to an imprisoned radical? Ofttimes, we don't even read the small print, wouldn't understand it, if we did; and yet, without further ado...POP it down our little gullets. Are we "high tech" or what?

True story: A niece of mine is a nurse who does home visits (let's call her Inez), recently, one of her patients was recovering from a kidney transplant. Beforehand, while he was on dialysis, his daily survival depended on taking about 85-90 pills every day! Once questioned by someone, "now that you're retired, how do you pass your time away?" The witty patient promptly replied with, "taking pills!" Can you imagine the planning and time schedule necessary to organize, record, and actually "pop" down so many pills? The moral of this story is very simple, we do what we have to do, and are sometimes forced by medical conditions to develop a strong dependency on the everlovin' pill. By the way, since his surgery, he is now down to only 37 pills a day! Wow, what an improvement, and now I feel much better about taking my "optional" 10-12 per day!

Since starting this little "epistle" eighteen days ago, I just got back to it, to make a few
refinements and to finalize it. In the interim, I ran out of my big bottle of vitamin C's with cranberry flavor. They were really quite tasty, and I was taking two 500 milligram chewable tablets each day. In fact, they were so good, that I keep some on the dash of my van, and occasionally enjoyed an extra "hit." Anyway, I quickly went back to my local "drug" store to obtain a new supply. Although I didn't remember the actual brand name (were not generic), I knew I would recognize the bottle when I saw it. After a rapid perusal of the "C-section" (they were in alphabetical order, no less) I could not find them. Slowly then, I went, shelf by shelf, label by label, bottle by bottle, box by box. Nope, not there! How could this be? The clerk behind the counter tried to assist me, but to no avail. They were in the process of liquidating their supplies, and would no longer be carrying them...what a "bummer". So, off I went, to a competitor's store. Surely something this good had to be available elsewhere, right? Wrong! Well, to my dismay, my chosen brand was not there either, in fact, I would have "grabbed" a reasonable substitute, like cherry, even. Ain't got None!

Finito! Well, ladies and gents, boys and girls, "poppers" and "non-poppers", now you
have it, one man's brief look at a sign of our times, "The Great Pill Syndrome". Has anyone else ever used that particular phrase? Will I live long enough to receive printed recognition for "coining" this famous (or infamous?) phrase? I doubt it. I'll probably be carted off to the "loony bin" for daring to record such trivial and stupid garbage. Well, maybe not....maybe, just maybe, there is a publisher out there who has the courage to actually print such drivel.

On the other hand, I am leaving today for a much-needed retreat, way out in the woods of West Virginia (you know, that place that John Denver made popular, using the phrase "Mountain Momma") and I am going without my ever-lovin' cranberry C's. Can I survive? Will I? Who cares? Well, if I do, and this article manages to see the "light of day", look for my sequel on the bookshelves, it's almost finished, and is entitled "EUREKA! (Not Kansas)."

In closing, I was once taught a simple system for both writing and speaking, which supposedly helps people to remember and retain what one has said, to wit: Tell them what you are going to tell them (introduction)...Tell them (body)...Tell them what you told them (conclusion). So, now you are armed (to be forewarned is to be forearmed) to face each day bravely, knowing deep down in your heart-of-hearts that the "Lawyer from Illinois" would be proud of you for being a devout patriot, for continuing the American tradition, for being a member of A Nation of The Pill, by The Pill, for The Pill. "Poppers Unite"... and ... have a nice day!



Thomas K. Hyland, Jr.
© August 17th, 1997