"Peeking At God"
A Child's Dream (1972, 9 or 10yrs. old)

       In this dream I was a young girl of about 5 or 6, and I was with a young boy who seemed to be a little older than me. We were in the sky, hiding behind a towering, white cloud. We were very afraid. I remember we were crying as we huddled together. Outlining the edges of the cloud was a blinding light behind it, and this is what we were afraid of. We thought this light was going to burn or even kill us if we looked at it, so we stayed crouched down low, hiding, behind the cloud…holding onto each other, whimpering. We were so frightened! However, we somehow knew that we HAD TO LOOK. We felt like we were there together TO LOOK. It seemed like we were there to discover something secret and important, but we were so scared! Finally, I said to the boy, “I’ll look first. I’m braver than you because I’m a girl and girls are braver. Girls can take more pain than boys because we have babies, so I’ll look first. If it doesn’t hurt me, then you can look.” There was a moment where we stared at each other for a while, not talking, but thinking that if the light killed me, he would be all by himself. Even though the boy was older, I felt the need to protect him. I summoned up all my courage and peeked over the top of the huge white cloud. Do you know what it was? Can you guess what I saw? It was God!!! And of course, it didn’t burn me or hurt me in any way! I just kept staring at it because it was so bright and warm and beautiful. Eventually, the boy stood up with me and we both stared at it, unable to look away from the brilliant, beautiful, white light…but it didn’t hurt us. We were confused and a little angry though, and I remember we thought, why would God want to trick us or scare us? Then, all of a sudden we could make out the face of God. IT WAS THE LIGHT! We could actually see the whole body of God. It looked like Hotei, the God of Happiness! He was holding his huge, round, belly, rocking back and forth, pointing at us, and laughing so hard! Pointing and laughing at us! Instantly, the message was obvious to me and the boy. It was simply to always be able to laugh at yourself and life…even though there are hardships to bear…life was not as difficult and sad as some people would have us believe, and life on Earth was just one part of our existence. Take a chance, be brave, enjoy life, and laugh! God hadn’t tricked us after all; he’d taught us a lesson through a shared experience. He’d given us the secret of life: Don’t take life too seriously; be happy, feel joy, and laugh, laugh, laugh!

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The little boy I was with was Michael (Jackson). Here I am 49 yrs. old now. The Michael that I’ve referred to in my mind all my life as “my Michael” is gone. I hadn’t thought about that dream for a few yrs. I must say that it is so hard to say good-bye to a lifelong friend. I knew from the first time I ever saw a picture of Michael, when I was 6, that I “recognized” him. I thought to myself, “Oh, it’s you.” I have believed my whole life that I’ve known Michael in the past and will again in the future.

I don’t know if I was his sister, mother, daughter, lover, friend or disciple in other incarnations of our relationship, but we are somehow connected…always and forever. I was a child myself when I had this dream  and in the dream I am  younger still. Even in my dreams, even as a child, I wanted to protect my Sweet Michael. 

*** It's who I am.

*** It's what I do, have always done, and always will do.