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Annette Mckenny-Harris

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Member Since: Apr, 2003

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The Way It Is
by Annette Mckenny-Harris   
     
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I’m sure you’ve heard that life isn’t fair. It isn’t. Because we have to live in this unfair world, it is imperative that we find ways to cope with what life dishes out. Let’s face it, some things will never change. Some things will always remain the same.


It’s imperative that you face the truth concerning your situation. What’s happening? No! I mean, what’s really happening? Did you lose your job? If yes, It’s over now. You’ve lost your job. Now prepare yourself for another one or better one. Don’t remain in your past trying to figure out why what took place. This is the way it is. You have no job. Wasted time makes things much worse for you. It’s always good to be concerned, but it should never stop production. Move on.

Did your companion leave you for someone else? If yes, he or she is gone and may never return. It’s over now. He’s gone. His loss. She’s gone, her loss. Stop blaming yourself for what never happened. Pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes you’ve made and better yourself for who’s next. Move on.

My twelve-year old son has been expelled from school for the remainder of the year. And because it’s the end of the year, he have to repeat the sixth grade next year. That hurts. My friends encouraged me to appeal and try to get him back in school, but I had to face the facts. He was disrespectful to his teachers and refused to carry out instructions. They no longer wanted to tolerate his behavior. I had to respect their decision and find another way to get him what he needed. Did I cry? Several times. My son was no longer in school. But I had to keep going and keep him going. That was my agenda.

To refuse to accept the truth is denial. Denial covers the truth and only allows us to see what we want to see. It enables us to throw secrets in the closet, tucking them away. In return, what’s ok in our lives is being medicated when it shouldn’t be, because that’s not the real problem. The real problem can never be touch because it’s out of reach.

Tell yourself the truth. This is the way it is. I am not trying to get you to walk away from your faith. I’m simply trying to get you to know the difference between the two. Are you lonely, afraid, depressed, offended, or angry? Say so. This has nothing to do with speaking these things into being. You don’t’ say, "I have broken my leg" to make it happen. You say you have a broken leg because your leg is broken and you need medical attention. Therefore, if you are lonely, afraid, depressed, offended, or angry, you should be honest about it. Until then, you will only cover up the real problem and will never be able to set free. You may not be able to say exactly what the real problem is, but be honest about what you do know, because the truth will be revealed.

A few years ago, I experienced a tooth ache. One tooth made the entire right side of my face ache so bad, I thought my face was on fire. I made an appointment to see a dentist and he asked me what tooth was bothering me. I pointed it out. The problem was not the tooth I pointed to. The problem stemmed from another tooth. The tooth I thought was bad was actually good, but was affected by another tooth that was bad. We make the same mistake. Sometimes we’re not just upset about one thing. In most cases, our anger has something to do with something else, like holding unforgiveness in our hearts. Sometimes we’re not dealing with a broken heart, but shame or consequences from some past action. In most cases, it’s always more than meets the eye.

This is the way it is. You’ve lost it. He’s gone. She’s never coming back. Go to the next chapter of your life now. You can’t change the situation, but you can change how you respond to the situation. It’s all up to you.


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Reviewed by J Michael Kearney
Reviewed on June 8, 2003
Awsome advice and extremely well written. I have a few suggestions over a couple of minor glitches so I'll e-mail those to you.

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