Someone recently made a comment that somewhat took this individual aback. They are well aware of my wife’s recent illness and of the struggle it has been to see to her care and still work fulltime at my job. Their well meaning, but misguided comment was to the effect that I needed to take care of myself and not let this situation in life do me in.

WHAT?

I personally believe that in times like this God gives us what we need to do what needs to be done. Sure it’s hard; sure it’s tough to watch the once lively and energetic person that you love become very ill and confined to a bed. Sure its tough, but absolute love is even tougher. “Take care of myself”, hmm. By taking care of my wife, I am taking care of myself. For when two are joined together with love in its most pure form then taking care of the other is taking care of oneself for you are not two…but one.

For me, commitment is another absolute. When one is committed to another and times get hard or strenuous then that becomes the litmus test; this becomes the test of true devotion and love for another. To only love in the good times is in my opinion selfish and shallow and unfortunately I know of people like this. They like to say that they would do anything for their wife, girlfriend or husband, but in fact when things don’t go exactly as they planned in life, well they suddenly turn and look for the easiest way out….that is not love, but selfishness.

Now I don’t think that this individual meant any real harm in what they said, but if one were to analyze the content then one can most assuredly see that it carried with it overtones of looking out for number one.  Sure I am up and down all times of the day and night making sure my wife has her needs met. Sure I am still working full time or else we don’t eat, and sure I am stressed; tired, worried and confused. However I see these tasks as something that one does when one loves sincerely. The way I see it is that one cannot draw the line on where love stops and love begins because there are no boundaries to true love. There is no such thing in absolute love that says I will love you if you love me back.

Absolute love endures even when love is not returned. Absolute love is the willingness to give one hundred percent of yourself and never expect anything in return. I love absolute and if my eyes seem a bit weary, then say something nice to lift my spirits. Please don’t suggest that I lose my burden so that I may appear ever how it is you think I must appear. Encourage me, don’t bring me down and if you think I could use a hand, well offer and mean what you say when you do so. I would most likely say thanks for offering but we will be fine. Don’t be afraid to love. Don’t run from the trial that you are in, but try to be as strong as you can and remember to always love absolute.

J. Allen Wilson 6/2008